


no one else but you will do (I wasted all of these days and nights)

by blackrose1002, BlackVultures



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Arguing, Break Up, Burns, Choking, Cunnilingus, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Infidelity, Eventual MacDalton, F/M, Feelings, First Kiss, First Time, Getting Together, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Initial Mac/Desi, Injury, Loneliness, Love Confessions, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Pining, Pool Sex, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Sharing a Bed, Swimming Pools, Tequila, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:28:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 42,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23701567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackrose1002/pseuds/blackrose1002, https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackVultures/pseuds/BlackVultures
Summary: He sighed and threw the ball harder than he meant to and it bounced wide, a few inches too far away for him to catch it. He shut his eyes so he didn't have to watch another one of his failures... but he didn't hear the ball hit an object. Instead the cowhide slapped against skin, and Mac's eyes flew open... only to see the last person he had expected leaning over him."Hey, hoss."(Canon until 4x09.)
Relationships: Jack Dalton/Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Comments: 74
Kudos: 162





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! 
> 
> We're bringing you yet another fic... and this time we're posting the first chapter while we're still writing the rest of the fic. The reason for that is quite simple - this is a very... self-indulgent reaction fic to the last two episodes and we wanted to start posting it before the new episode that airs tonight. 
> 
> Small warning - at the beginning of this fic Mac is in releationship with Desi and things happen between them... but we're gonna add more warnings with the later chapters if you wanna skip it.
> 
> The title is from the song "The Truth" by James Blunt.
> 
> We really hope you like it!

Boom-boom. Boom-boom. Boom-boom.

The steady sound of the baseball bouncing off the floor and the wall was the only sound echoing around the house and Mac was more than fine with it. There was no post-mission gathering, no drinking beers out on the deck, no him and Desi... letting off steam, adrenaline still pumping in their veins.

Sitting on the floor, playing catch with himself, Mac was completely alone... in every possible meaning of this word.

He stared ahead at his targeted wall and wondered when his life had gone off the rails. He had _never_ been normal, not by a long shot, but at one point things weren't so bad. He had lost his mom and his dad had run off, yeah, but he had had his grandfather and Bozer... and then when Harry had died, he had gained Jack. Then Patty and Nikki... which hadn't worked out, either of them, and Mac was ashamed to admit he still felt an ache when he thought about his ex-girlfriend's betrayal, mostly because he had given her his heart and she had stepped on it.

He still had Riley, of course, but thankfully after today's events she had decided to spend the night at Desi's place. And as for Bozer... well, Mac was pretty sure some part of him resented Mac for talking him into coming back to the Phoenix, especially now that it wasn't what it used to be. Russ... wasn't a bad person, Mac knew that, but... he was also not Oversight.

And today Mac had been the paranoid one, not him.

He squeezed his eyes shut, stifling a pained sound when he remembered everything that had happened earlier that day. Maybe if he hadn't been so caught up in his head, if he had stopped just for one second and accepted the possibility that Codex wasn't behind it all... maybe he would have come up with something else, something that wouldn't have gotten Lasky killed.

He blinked rapidly when his vision blurred with tears and he tossed the ball harder, the guilt gnawing at him from the inside, and he ignored his phone buzzing next to him with yet another text - he didn't need to check to know it was Desi.

She was worried about him and Mac appreciated that, he did, but the _way_ she worried felt suffocating. It wasn't her fault - just another thing that was wrong with him - and he knew he was hurting her by not responding.

He sighed and threw the ball harder than he meant to and it bounced wide, a few inches too far away for him to catch it. He shut his eyes so he didn't have to watch another one of his failures... but he didn't hear the ball hit an object. Instead the cowhide slapped against skin, and Mac's eyes flew open... only to see the last person he had expected leaning over him.

"Hey, hoss," Jack said softly, looking at him worriedly, and Mac was suddenly barely holding back tears.

"J-Jack?" he breathed out, and they stared at each other for a moment... and then Mac scrambled to his feet, tripping over them because of course he tripped, but there were strong arms wrapping around him and saving him from the fall. Mac only managed to wrap his arms around Jack and bury his face in his neck before a gut-wrenching sob escaped his throat.

Jack hugged him so tightly it hurt, his ribs creaking, but Mac didn't give a shit. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he pushed himself as close to Jack as possible, even though it made Jack overbalance and they wound up sitting on the floor. Dimly he was aware that Jack was talking to him, his breath warm and damp against Mac's ear, and once the initial shock wore off he could make out the words. "Mac, you need to calm down, okay? You're headin' for a panic attack and that's the last thing I wanted when I decided to surprise you."

Mac sobbed again and shook his head because that wasn't why he was falling apart like that, but he couldn't find the words to tell Jack that. Instead he cried even harder and he barely noticed when Jack shifted so that his back was leaning against the kitchen counter and Mac was curled up between his legs. One of Jack's hands was on the back of his neck and his other arm was tightly wrapped around Mac's waist, and he was firm and warm and _safe_ ... and Mac couldn't stop crying.

When it became clear that Mac couldn't get his shit together, Jack sighed and moved the hand he had on the back of Mac's neck to open the tactical vest he was wearing, shrugging it off somehow despite Mac's clinging. "Okay, man, we'll just stay here for a while," he said, taking that hand and rubbing it up and down Mac's spine comfortingly. "Been a long two years, huh? I was startin' to wonder if I'd ever see you and Riles again."

Mac let out another sob, but he tried to focus on Jack's voice - that low, comforting rumble that he had missed so much - knowing what Jack was doing. "Kovacs is still out there, can you imagine?" Jack continued after a moment, his breath hot on Mac's ear and temple. "We were gettin' close, though, I sure as hell hope the team got him." A pause. "We'd been radio silent for two days, checking out a lead... imagine now I felt when I turned my phone on after that and saw a missed call for you and that short text. Almost had a heart attack and I jumped on the first plane to the US."

"I'm so sorry about your dad, Mac," Jack murmured, his words going somber and sincere. "I know he wasn't father of the year, but... he loved you in his own way." He cleared his throat, and the fact that he had gotten emotional over James when Mac knew for a fact Jack had never liked him was one of those things Mac loved about him. "Desi and Matty caught me up on some things while I was on the plane," Jack said, his hand in Mac's hair now, fingers sifting through the strands. "Can't believe Russ fucking Taylor is our boss... but I heard he's been trying to turn things around, so good for him."

They were silent for a moment and Mac closed his eyes, focusing on Jack's smell. He managed to calm down a little, no longer sobbing so uncontrollably, and while tears were still rolling down his cheeks, at least he could breathe now. "Heard you were ignoring everyone," Jack murmured after a moment, his voice gentle. "We've talked about it, man, that's not good for you." A sigh. "What happened to your dad wasn't your fault, Mac... and neither was what happened today."

"These Codex people, this aunt of yours... they really got in your head, didn't they?" When Mac nodded just the tiniest bit, Jack sighed. "Mac, we both know you're the brains of this operation... but even _I_ know a villain monologue when I hear one. Pretty sure Gwen's more concerned with making herself the hero of her twisted little fairy tale than she is with savin' the world. And while she's right when she says you can't save everyone... that doesn't mean you can't _try_."

"I should've tried harder today," Mac whispered, his voice shaking so badly it was a miracle it was possible to understand him. "I should've-"

"No, Mac, that's not what I meant," Jack interjected gently. "You did everything you could, I know you did. And you _tried_ to save everyone today, that's what matters."

"How do you know?" Mac asked, and it came out more snappish than he intended. "You weren't there, you couldn't have-"

"Taylor told me," Jack said, interrupting him again, his voice back to that low timbre that made Mac's muscles relax. "He was my next call after Dez and Matty. Had nothing but good things to say about you, which is a big deal coming from him... I think he felt bad that he couldn't do more to help you today."

Mac made a frustrated sound because _he_ should have been able to do more, not Taylor. He clung even closer to Jack, hands twisting in his shirt... his tactical shirt, Mac realized with a startle. He had registered Jack's vest earlier, but he was now noticing that Jack was in a full tac gear - the shirt, two thigh holsters, everything. "How are you here?" he asked in a whisper, his voice hoarse from all the crying. "You said Kovacs is still out there... why are you here?"

"Pretty sure I explained that already, but I'll try it again," Jack said, amusement in his voice. His hands were gentle in all the places they were touching Mac even though their warmth was blunted by the rough fabric of fingerless tactical gloves. "I got your voice mail right after we got off radio silence and hopped the first plane I could. Told the CIA I was done with the search, and while they weren't happy, I reminded them that I was the one who found all the intel they had on Kovacs in the first place."

Mac didn't know when, but he realized that he had stopped crying, the tears slowly drying on his face. He still felt guilty, though... and now there was one more thing for him to feel guilty about. "Jack, I'm so sorry," he whispered, closing his eyes again. "I... I'm sorry I made you come back while Kovacs is still out there."

"Hey, you didn't _make_ me do anything," Jack protested, his hand sliding around to hold the side of Mac's neck, thumb stroking over his jaw. It was an intimate gesture, but Mac knew Jack didn't mean it in the way Mac wanted him to. "I gave two whole years of my life up for that bastard, I wasn't giving any more. Besides, you're more important." He paused. "I should've told you that before I left. Shoulda told you a lot of things, and I'm sorry I didn't."

Mac exhaled shakily and because all of his walls were currently down, he had to work very hard not to do something stupid, like kissing Jack's neck. "I'm sorry too," he whispered, and sniffled. "I... I fucked up when I went to Nigeria, I know that. Things weren't the same after I got back and... that's my fault."

"It's not all on you," Jack replied, as if forgiving Mac was as easy and simple as breathing. "Yeah, that was kinda like gettin' stabbed in the heart, but I didn't handle it very well. I shouldn't have pushed you away, even if I thought you wanted space." He winced a little. "Now, you think maybe we could get off the floor? My back isn't happy with me, and I'd like to be able to walk tomorrow."

Mac inhaled sharply and pushed himself up. "Yeah, yeah, of course, I'm sorry," he rushed to say, and stood up on shaky legs. He swayed a little, but Jack was right there to steady him, grabbing his elbow once he got up as well.

"Hey, it's all good," he said softly, and for the first time since Jack had surprised him Mac took a good look at his face. He was as handsome as always, even though he looked tired, and his beard was a little longer than what Mac was used to, but it looked good on him. "You feelin' any better?"

"A little bit, yeah," Mac said, surprising himself. Even though his head ached from crying, just having Jack near him made up for it in spades. "If you want to change, your stuff is here," he told him, smiling when surprise flashed across Jack's face. "It was in the guest room, but Riley's staying in there, so I moved everything into my room. I can sleep out on the couch if you want the bed."

"No, no way," Jack immediately protested, picking up his vest from the floor and putting it on one of the chairs. "I ain't kicking you out your own bed. I can sleep on the couch."

"Jack, you just said your back is bothering you," Mac argued. "I still have the same couch I had, you know it's not... the best, and that's putting it mildly."

"Then we'll share the bed," Jack decided as they walked down the hall together, and Mac deliberately ignored the way that idea made his heart rate spike. "Not like we haven't done it before."

"If you insist," Mac said, and then stopped short of the doorway when he thought of something. "I'll be right back, I need to get my laptop. My dad left something behind for me, and I... I haven't been able to bring myself to watch it yet."

"I'll watch it with you," Jack said, giving him a soft smile, and at this rate Mac was sure his heart was going to give out. He swallowed that down and headed back to the living room, looking for his laptop and the flash drive... and a buzzing reminded him his phone was still on the floor where he had been sitting earlier. He picked it up and saw a ton of messages from Bozer, Riley, Russ... and Desi, and that was right, Mac had a girlfriend and suddenly being in love with Jack was much more problematic with him being back.

Mac sent quick texts to all of them, letting them know that he was fine and Jack had made it to his place okay. At Russ's insistence he agreed to take the next day off, and then he turned his phone off. He grabbed the box with his dad's stuff in it and his computer before heading back to the bedroom - where Jack was in the middle of changing.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry," he said, his cheeks burning. "I'm gonna- wait, are you okay?" he asked, because before he could turn his gaze away he noticed a mosaic of purple and blue bruises all over Jack's ribs.

"It's fine, it's nothin'," Jack said with a wave of his hand, seemingly unbothered by Mac walking in on him. "Just a few bruises."

His tac pants rode low on his hips, putting emphasis on the chiseled cut of his abs. He pulled a worn-out t-shirt over his head and then just... dropped his pants, kicking off his boots too. Mac didn't want to be creepy and watch him, so he put the box down on the bed and got busy putting the flash drive in his computer. By the time he was done with that Jack was wearing a pair of pajama pants, so it was safe to look at him again... and then Mac realized _he_ would kind of like to change.

He put the laptop on the mattress and swallowed down, forcing himself to act normal. They had changed in front of each other many times before and if he didn't want Jack to realize something was off, he needed to get his shit together. He walked up to the dresser, unbuttoning his shirt on the way, and slid it off his shoulders, grabbing a t-shirt to put on instead. He made sure it wasn't one of Jack's - that would have been awkward - and then he started taking off his jeans. He made it quick, putting on his sweatpants, and then he turned around, and saw Jack sitting on the bed next to the laptop, waiting for him.

He clambered on to the mattress and they leaned back against the headboard together, their shoulders brushing. "Okay, looks like it's a video file," Mac said, swallowing hard as he hovered his hand over the track pad. He forced himself to play the video... and when his dad started rattling off numbers Jack ripped open the nightstand drawer and pulled out the notebook Mac kept there. He scribbles the numbers down and then shoved the laptop away when sparks flew as the flash drive self-destructed.

"Well, that's one hell of a goodbye video," Jack muttered under his breath, but Mac didn't reply, still staring at his laptop where a fragment of his dad's face was frozen on the screen. "Hey, hey, Mac," Jack's gentle voice said, his fingers wrapping around Mac's wrist, and that was when he realized there was a single tear rolling down his cheek. "I'm sorry, man."

Mac nodded tightly, chewing on the inside of his cheek. "I just wish..." he started, but had to trail off, needing a second to breathe. "I wish I had more to remember him by than a box of junk, you know?"

"Funny you bring that up, because I had an idea," Jack said, his thumb rubbing over Mac's skin. "Do you wanna go back to the explosion site? It might give you some closure."

Mac turned his head which was a mistake because he wound up staring into Jack's eyes. They were as gorgeous as always, whiskey-brown and warm, and Mac let himself get lost in them for a second. "I... maybe?" he finally answered Jack's question, and forced himself to look away. "It... it could work." He chewed on his lower lip. "You'd go with me, right?"

"Of course, man," Jack replied, squeezing his wrist in reassurance. "I wouldn't have suggested it if I wasn't gonna tag along. I'm sure Taylor will let us use his plane." He bumped Mac's shoulder with his own. "Besides, we'll get to hang out, just like old times... and maybe we can find some clues about where Gwen and Codex might've moved their operation to."

"Yeah, maybe," Mac said, and smiled at Jack... and his smile was actually genuine, not forced. "Thank you, Jack. For coming back and... helping me."

"You don't need to thank me, but you're welcome," Jack murmured. "And I know how that brain of yours works, hoss. And how sometimes you need help getting out of your head."

"Yeah, it's... been getting harder and harder to do that on my own," Mac said, rubbing a hand over his face, exhaustion suddenly catching up to him. He placed his busted laptop on top of the box and set both of them on the floor, then turned his phone back on long enough to shoot Russ a text asking about the plane. He got an affirmative response almost immediately and smiled a little. "Russ says the plane will be waiting for us at the airport tomorrow morning," he told Jack. "There's an extra toothbrush in the bathroom if you want it."

"Thanks, man," Jack said with a smile, and got up. "Did you let the others know you're okay?" he asked on his way to the bathroom, and Mac nodded. "Good. They all seemed worried about you... including Desi." His smile dimmed a little in a way Mac couldn't quite read. "While I hoped she'd let her walls down, I didn't expect you two becoming a thing... but congrats, man."

"Uh, thanks," Mac replied, stumbling over his words. Once Jack was in the bathroom with the door shut he dropped his head into his hands, resisting the urge to swear out loud. He was thrilled Jack's back, but keeping his feelings to himself was going to be just as hard as it had been when they had worked together constantly, only now he was out of practice. Add in his relationship with Desi, and the whole thing was a big mess.

He knew there was no way Jack could ever return his feelings and while he had never stopped loving Jack, he had managed to push those feelings deep inside when he and Desi had gotten together for the first time and now. He knew it wasn't fair to her, especially since he wasn't in love with _her_ , never had been, but he had made his peace with hiding that piece of his heart away, hoping that maybe one day he would learn to love Desi as well. He had never stopped to wonder what would happen if Jack got back before he managed to achieve that.

The sound of the bathroom door opening interrupted his thoughts, and Mac got up and brushed past Jack to get into the bathroom himself. He used the toilet and brushed his teeth, and when he came back into the bedroom he found Jack's already under the covers. He swallowed hard and climbed in next to him, shutting off the light on the nightstand. "You okay?" Jack asked after a moment of silence. "Anything I can do to help?"

Mac almost asked Jack to hold him, but blurting out something like that would have definitely made things awkward. "I'm... not okay," he said softly, and that was something he wouldn't have admitted to anyone else. Ever since his dad had died he had been telling everyone he was fine, but... with Jack he wanted to tell the truth. "I probably won't be for a while, but... you are helping." He rolled on his side to face Jack, even though he could barely see him. "Just you being here helps a lot."

Jack was quiet for a moment, his handsome face shrouded in shadows. "That's... good," he said softly, reaching out to squeeze Mac's shoulder. "Let me know if you need anything else... goodnight, Mac."

"Goodnight, Jack," Mac whispered, shutting his eyes. For the first time in two years, sleep found him immediately, and he wasn't afraid of what was waiting for him in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment if you enjoyed it! ♥


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!
> 
> I couldn't help myself and I didn't want to keep waiting any longer... so here's another chapter! Obviously it's AU at this point since nothing that happened in the newest chapter is included in this fic.

When Jack woke up in the morning the first thing he noticed was how well-rested he felt. He hadn't slept through the entire night, this relaxed, in a long while - since before he had left, actually, so it was nice not having to worry about Kovacs popping out of thin air any second.

The second thing he realized was that there was a certain weight on his chest... and his eyes snapped open when he realized he and Mac were _cuddling_. Mac was curled up against his side, his head pillowed on Jack's chest, his arm resting over his middle... and Jack's arms were wrapped tightly around him, their legs entwined.

Jack froze, swallowing hard as he listened to the rhythm of Mac's breathing, deep and slow. He was still sound asleep, and as long as Jack didn't move he would probably stay that way for a while. Was that something Jack should let happen, though? Was it fair to cuddle him like this when Mac didn't know how Jack really felt about him?

It was most definitely not, but Jack had always been a weak man when it came to Mac, and also a bit selfish. He knew there was no way in hell for Mac to ever return his feelings - he had made his peace with it a long time ago - plus Mac was dating Desi right now, so he couldn't have been more out of Jack's reach, so he allowed himself this one peaceful moment, imagining just for a few seconds that this was real.

As if on cue, Mac shifted a little against him... and oh god, oh fuck, he was _hard_ , impressive morning wood pressed into Jack's hip. His arms squeezes Jack tighter and he made a sound in the back of his throat. Jack's eyes were huge in his head and he didn't know what the hell to do, his breathing increasing as he tried very hard not to freak out.

A tiny, crazy part of him wanted roll on top of Mac and help him with his problem, but that was an awful idea for _many_ reasons. The worst thing was, Mac's erection pressing against his hip made his own cock twitch in interest, and Jack had to stifle a whimper because this was _bad_. Mac shifted again and exhaled softly as he ground lightly against Jack's hip, and then he _moaned_ , and sweet Jesus, Jack was screwed. The only thing he could think of to save himself - and their friendship - was to make Mac think he woke up first and avoid any awkwardness this way. Using all of his training, Jack forces himself to slow down his breathing until it was deep and even, and he closed his eyes... and then he stirred and shifted, hoping it would be enough to wake Mac up.

Mac made another sound, this one closer to a whimper, but thankfully his breathing changed. He went still against Jack, and then he rolled carefully out of Jack's arms, not knowing he was taking his heart with him. His weight left the bed, and a moment later Jack heard the shower start - with cold water, he was sure. He opened his eyes and let out a sigh of relief, feeling like he had just dodged a bullet.

He rubbed his face with one hand, staring at the ceiling and trying not to think what Mac might have been doing in that shower... or how his naked body would have looked, all wet and... "Fuck," Jack muttered, and shook his head, because thinking about this was _wrong_ \- he was in love with and lusting after a guy fifteen years younger than him, who was in a _relationship_ with Jack's friend, and he felt like the worst kind of bastard. Also, his cock didn't seem to get the memo because he was still half hard and he needed to do something about it.

He rolled over and pretended he was still asleep when he heard the water shut off, staying still until Mac put on some clothes and left the bedroom. Then Jack made a break for the bathroom, stripping quickly and all but jumping into the shower. He turned on the water, his cock aching between his legs... and he had to put his hand over his mouth to keep in a moan when he realized the white stain on the tile wall was Mac's come.

So Mac hadn't taken a cold shower after all and Jack let out the softest whimper as he leaned against the wall, the tiles cool against his skin. He wrapped his fingers around his hard cock and started slowly stroking himself, closing his eyes... and he let his thoughts wander, he couldn't help it. He thought of Mac, of his gorgeous, lean body that he couldn't help but admire last night when Mac was changing, and then he imagined those blue eyes looking up at him... Mac's pretty lips wrapped around his cock.

"Oh fuck," Jack whispered, leaning heavily against the wall when his knees started to shake. He pictured himself threading his fingers through Mac's hair, tugging just a little as he bobbed his head up and down on Jack's length. He maintained eye contact the whole time, even when he let Jack start fucking his throat... and somehow that morphed into fucking Mac's ass instead.

He covered his mouth with his free hand and let out a muffled moan, stroking himself faster. He imagined having Mac right there with him in the shower and pressing him against the wall, fucking him from behind, their fingers entwined on the wall.

He would be so tight around Jack's cock, hot and velvety smooth, but that wasn't the idea that made Jack come all over himself like a teenager. No, it was the thought of being that _close_ to Mac, of burying his face in his hair as he cried out and spent himself. Jack shook through his orgasm and let himself go only when he had wrung out the last drops of come against the wall with Mac's, his vision wavering from how good that felt.

Almost immediately he felt disgusted with himself, just like he always did whenever he jacked himself off while thinking about Mac. He didn't let himself do that very often and it had been a long time since the last time. It always felt fantastic while it lasted, but it also always left Jack feeling like a creep, dreaming about something he would never be allowed to have... and rightly so.

He switched the water to cold as a punishment and washed himself with brutal efficiency before exiting the shower. He wrapped a towel around his waist and headed out, almost running right into Mac as he entered the bedroom. "Shit, sorry," Jack said, wiping water off his forehead with the back of his hand.

"It's fine, don't worry about it," Mac replied, his gaze flicking over Jack's body - but Jack was sure he was just checking out the bruises. "I thought we could grab breakfast on the way to the airport... I came back in to pack a bag."

"Breakfast sounds awesome," Jack says, but he was kind of frozen, staring at Mac, because... he had never seen him so soon after thinking about him while masturbating, and he couldn't get the image of Mac on his knees out of his head. "I'll just grab some clothes and we can go." He paused as he looked around, and after a moment he spotted a box with some of his clothes. "Hey, do you know if my go bag is somewhere here?"

"Under the bed," Mac replied, moving across the room to the closet to retrieve his own go bag. Jack ambled over to the bed and got down on the floor, peeking under the bed. He spotted the case for his sniper rifle, along with his go bag and some of his other valuables... including the box containing his father's dog tags.

His breath hitched when he saw it and he reached for it with a shaking hand, sitting on the floor against the bed, still with only a towel around his waist. "Jack?" he heard Mac's voice ask as he stared down at the cigar box. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just..." Jack trailed off, biting his lower lip. "Wasn't sure I was gonna see this again, just like I thought I might not see Riley... or you." He opened the box and carefully lifted out his father's dog tags, feeling Mac sit down next to him a second later. "Thank you for keepin' these safe for me."

"Of course," Mac said softly. "I actually brought the box here about a week after you left. It didn't seem safe for it to be at an empty apartment." If Jack hadn't already been ridiculously in love with Mac, he would have fallen right now. "And then when your lease was up... we brought all of your stuff here."

"That means a lot, man," Jack said, swallowing hard and doing his best not to get too emotional. He gently put the dog tags back in the box and slid it back under the bed. He gave Mac a shaky smile and stood up, walking up to his boxes. "Let me just put somethin' on and we can bounce."

"Okay," Mac said, his voice still at this gentle timbre that made something old and beat down inside Jack shake. "I'll be out in the car." He grabbed his go bag and slipped out of the room, and Jack sniffled once before he got dressed.

He grabbed his gun and shoved it into the holster at the back of his waistband, choosing to leave his other gear behind - save for the knife strapped to his ankle and the backup gun in his go bag, of course. Once he was all packed up he headed out the door... and found the GTO sitting in the driveway with Mac leaning against the hood.

He froze in shock and he wasn't sure what his face was doing, but whatever it was, it made Mac grin widely. "I know you don't like anyone driving it..." He started. "But I figured you wouldn't minding me driving out of the garage to surprise you."

Jack felt his lips moving, but no sound came out until something registered in his brain. "Wait, garage?" he asked incredulously, his eyes widening even more when he glanced to his left and saw an empty and pristine garage. "Where's all your garbage, dude?"

"I rented a dumpster and got rid of most of it," Mac replied, tossing Jack the keys to his car, which he caught mostly on reflex because he was still in shock. "Anything that was actually valuable I either brought into the house or stuck in the basement." He was still smiling, but it grew more subdued. "It didn't feel right to just leave it under a tarp or something, so... I did this instead."

Jack slowly turned his gaze away from the car and looked at Mac instead, his heart clenching because... things like that only made him love Mac more. Feeling his control slip up just a bit, he walked up to him and pulled him into a hug. "Thank you," he said softly. "That... means a lot."

Mac made a surprised sound, but hugged Jack back, his hair tickling Jack's cheek. "You're welcome, man," he murmured. "I know you would've done the same thing for me."

They stood like that for a moment before Jack forced himself to let go, squeezing Mac's shoulder before he dropped his hand to his side. "Let's get going."

Mac smiled at him again and they threw their bags in the back before getting in the car. Jack knew it was silly to get this emotional over a car, but he couldn't help it, unable to stop grinning as he started the engine and gripped the steering wheel. His grin widened when he started driving and Mac turned on the radio... and Metallica started blasting from the speakers.

Now it really did feel like old times, especially when they both started belting the lyrics at the top of their lungs. It was so _nice_ , and Jack felt like he was on Cloud Nine the whole way to the airport. It wasn't until they left the GTO in the hangar and approached Taylor's jet that he remembered why they were there.

Once they were on board and ready for takeoff, he nudged Mac's knee since he was sitting across from him. "You doing okay, hoss?"

Mac sighed and stared out the window for a moment, his hands starting to twitch in his lap. "Hard to say," he eventually replied, turning his gaze to Jack. "Like I told you last night, I... I'm not really okay, no matter what I keep telling everyone else." Jack's heart swelled because he knew how rare it was for Mac to admit something like this, and the fact that Jack was the only person he was telling that... it was a privilege he couldn't believe he still had. "But with you... I don't feel as broken."

"Hey now, you're not broken," Jack protested, leaning forward to catch Mac's eye, since his stare had dropped to the floor. He reached out and put his hand on Mac's knee, squeezing gently. "You're grieving, Mac, that's totally normal. I would be more worried if you were acting like you were fine. And... thank you, for trusting me enough that you don't feel like you need to."

"I trust you with everything," Mac said softly. "Even when we... weren't doing that great, even after you left... I never stopped trusting you." Jack swallowed hard, desperately trying not to tear up, but damn, Mac saying that made his old heart go crazy. "It's just..." Mac continued after a moment. "My... my mom is gone, my dad is gone... I'm all alone now."

Jack took in a shaky breath when he heard that. "Mac, you're not alone," he whispered, his voice cracking. "I know it might feel like that right now, but you've got me, and Riley, Bozer, Desi, Matty... hell, even Taylor's trying to help. We might not be blood, but we're your family, kid." He rubbed his face with the hand that wasn't on Mac's knee. "I just wish I would've been there for you sooner."

"It's not your fault, Jack," Mac said quietly, and Jack knew he should have taken his hand off his knee, but Mac didn't seem to mind. "I knew you had to leave, I understood why." He let out a tiny chuckle. "I might've been sad and... heartbroken about it, but I understood."

Jack's heart clenched when he heard that and he knew he couldn't apologize enough for leaving... and the way he had left. "Mac, I'm sorry-" He didn't get to finish because the sound of Mac's phone ringing cut him off. He took the phone out of his pocket and Jack noticed the picture of Desi on the screen, frowning when Mac declined the call. "You're not gonna answer that?"

Mac shots him a guilty look. "I know I should, but..." He chewed on the inside of his cheek, glancing out the window for a moment before he met Jack's eye again. "Desi's been... great during all of this, she really has, but she's almost _too_ great about it, if that makes sense?" He sighed, running a hand through his hair, tugging hard when he got to the back. "I think maybe a little distance will help."

Jack raised his eyebrows, feeling like an asshole when he felt _happy_ because Mac would have rather talked to him than Desi. He patted Mac's knee one last time before taking his hand away and he sat back in his seat. "That makes sense... I guess?" he said, because he knew Mac was... complicated when it came to letting people in. "How long... how long have you guy been together?" he asked, even though he would have much rather faced a firing squad than talk about this... but he couldn't avoid this forever.

"We were together for about six months after the Phoenix got disbanded," Mac said, crossing his legs, his fingers starting to fidget with each other in his lap. "Then we broke up for about a year, and got back together not long after Russ brought us all back into the fold." He took a deep breath, like he was bracing himself for something... and Jack figured out what when he added, "But I'm starting to wonder if that was a mistake."

If Jack had felt like an asshole before he felt like a complete son of a bitch now when his heart literally _sang_. But Mac was looking at him with that... troubled and lost look in his eyes, and Jack needed to get his shit together and be there for him. "Why is that?" he asked softly, and Mac chewed on his lower lip. "Look, if you don't wanna talk about it, I'm gonna drop it," Jack assured him. "But if you wanna get it off your chest... you know I'll listen. No judgin'." Mac nodded a little and Jack gave him a gentle smile. "How about you start with why you two broke up for the first time?"

"At first things were great," Mac started, looking mildly insecure, like talking about his relationship with someone else was a foreign concept - and belatedly Jack realized that it _was_ , because he hadn't been there. "We worked pretty seamlessly together in the field, and the sex was..." A pretty blush colored his cheeks. "Good, um, it was good. But then... the more time we spent with each other that wasn't adrenaline-fueled, the more we... I wouldn't say we _fought,_ but there was a lot of passive-aggressive stuff I'm not proud of."

Jack ignored the pang in his chest when Mac mentioned sex with Desi and pushed his discomfort away. He didn't say anything because he could tell Mac wasn't done, and sure enough, after a moment he continued. "It ended... badly," Mac breathed out, shaking his head with a humorless chuckle. "You could say we went nuclear... and we broke up, went our separate ways... until Russ showed up." He sighed. "I convinced Desi to come back to the Phoenix and at first it was... awful. We continued snapping at each other, blaming each other for the break up."

"Oh yeah? And then what happened?" Jack asked, patting himself on the back when he managed to keep his voice steady and neutral. "Let me guess... near-death experience?"

"Yeah, for her," Mac said, something pained around his eyes as he recalled what happened. "I barely got to her before... and then when I saw her, I realized how much she means to me and I... kissed her before I thought about the consequences, you know?"

"Yeah, I get that, but... what kind of consequences are you talkin' about?" Jack forced himself to ask. "You said you realized how much she means to you... isn't that enough to make things work?"

"I... I don't think so," Mac replied after a moment, his voice... off somehow. "We just... we went on this double date with Riley and her boyfriend, and we... it should be easy, Jack. Easier than this."

"What happened on the double date?" Jack asked. He paused, then added, "And when are you gonna tell me more about this guy Riley was dating so I can kill him?"

"His name was Aubrey, and he couldn't handle it when he found out what we all really do for a living," Mac said, smiling a little when Jack frowned at him for deliberately omitting this Aubrey fella's last name. Then he launched into the saga of the double-date, and ended with, "I think what I realized when I dropped her off is that... I don't _want_ a normal relationship. But more than that... I'm not sure I want a relationship with her."

"First of all, I _am_ getting out of you more about this Aubrey," Jack started, hoping to make Mac smile, and he succeeded. "And... look, Mac, of course you don't want a normal relationship, nothing wrong with that. Normal, boring relationships aren't really possible in our line of work... or with our characters. You just need a person to... be not normal with." _Like me_ , he added mentally and immediately kicked himself for it. "And one could say Desi is perfect for that - she knows what you do for a living, she's a badass, definitely not boring... so what's the problem?"

Mac stared at him for a moment, and it seemed like there was something he wanted to say, something on the tip of his tongue... but he clearly held it back. "I don't know," he said instead, letting out another sigh. "But hopefully I can figure it out before I see her again." Jack didn't call him out on the obvious deflection, figuring Mac had done plenty of sharing and he shouldn't push. They spent the rest of the plane ride in a companionable silence, and then they landed in... well, actually Jack didn't know where they were.

Mac must have noticed him look curiously out the window because he smiled. "We're in Mexico."

"Mexico?" Jack repeated incredulously. "That's... not what I expected."

"I suspect Codex has hideouts all over the world," Mac said, and got up from his seat. He hesitated before he exhaled and headed for the plane door. "The explosion site isn't far away from here."

"Are we walking?" Jack asked, and when Mac nodded he unzipped his go bag and pulled out two army green flak jackets. "Humor me and put this on? If anybody's creeping around the site it'll make us harder to spot."

"Okay," Mac agreed, slipping the jacket on over his button-down shirt. He eyed Jack's spare gun when he retrieved it from his bag and shoved it into the inner pocket of his own jacket. "Expecting company?"

"Always," Jack replied, shrugging a little. "Better be prepared, dude. You never know who's gonna be lurking around the site and we ain't exactly lucky."

Mac looked at him for a moment and then nodded with a small smile. "You have a point," he said, and they got off the plane.

It was a sunny day, but it wasn't too warm and Jack was grateful for that since they were supposed to spend a lot of time outside. "Lead the way," he told Mac, and followed him when he started walking, glancing around in search for any threats.

He didn't see any, but that didn't mean they weren't there, and he was determined to keep an eye out. He could already smell burned wood and metal, along with the sour tang of chemical based explosives - both things he was familiar with after many years in the war-torn Middle East. Mac seemed to know where he was going so Jack was content to follow him, watching his six like he used to and wondering what they would find when they reached ground zero.

"Don't expect to find much," Mac suddenly said, as if he read Jack's mind... and sometimes Jack was pretty sure he had this ability. "There were two explosions, the one that... that d-dad set off to stop them from following me-" His voice shook a little, but he got it back under control. "-and the second one set off by Gwen to cover her tracks."

They came to the edge of a clearing, the trees and undergrowth charred black from flames. The hulking mass of the Codex headquarters sat in front of them, partially sunken into the ground from the force of the two explosions. "You think that rubble's stable?" Jack asked, looking at the twisted beams critically. "Last thing we need is one of us breaking a leg."

When Mac didn't reply he looked at him and found him staring at the rubble with a pained expression on his face. He shook his head a moment later, visibly trying to keep himself together, and he swallowed hard. "I... don't know," he said quietly. "Looks stable, but..." He trailed off with a shrug. "Let's have a closer look and if it... if it's not safe, we'll leave."

"Hey, I'm not afraid of a little risk," Jack said, putting a hand on Mac's shoulder in an effort to be supportive. "Just don't wanna see you get hurt physically when you're already hurtin' emotionally."

"Thanks, Jack," Mac murmured, and they walked into what was left of the building together. Melted glass crunched under their boots and Jack drew his gun when he heard a creaking sound, but it turned out to be the breeze making some metal move. He was a little on edge after so much time hunting Kovacs, but thankfully Mac was too preoccupied to notice.

He kept his gun in his hand just in case - for all they knew there might have been some Codex operatives around, making sure they hadn't left any traces behind. Mac was slowly walking forward, looking around, and Jack could tell he was getting lost in his head again, but he let him. There were so many memories for him here, bad ones, and if coming here was supposed to bring him closure... he needed to work through everything in his own way.

They explored for a while without interruption, but it seemed like any potential clues as to Codex's whereabouts or next move had probably gone up in smoke when the building exploded. Jack was just about to ask if Mac wanted to go out and get some fresh air when he heard... something, a noise from a distance away.

A noise that sounded very much like a person groaning in pain.

They both froze and Jack unconsciously tightened his grip on the gun. "Did you hear that?" he asked quietly, looking in the direction he thought the noise had come from. Mac nodded, looking as confused as Jack felt, and they both said nothing for a moment, just listening... and then Jack heard the noise again. "You think it's possible that one of their operatives didn't manage to get out in time... and survived?" he asked, still keeping his voice quiet. "Because if it is... we could have a lead."

"Maybe? I wasn't exactly in the mindset to be thinking about potential casualties besides..." Mac trailed off, shaking his head a little. "Let's go check it out."

Jack took the lead this time, gun raised against any potential threats, and Mac walked a half-step in his shadow. They walked through several corridors and Jack edged around a bombed-out doorway... only to find James MacGyver, slumped against a wall with burns all over his body…

… but very much alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment if you enjoyed it! ♥


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> Here we go, another chapter! Much longer than the previous ones ;)
> 
> A warning, since Mac and Desi are still a couple, things... happen in this chapter, things that couples tend to do. If that bothers you, feel free to skip certain parts of that chapter.
> 
> We really hope you like the update!

Jack froze in shock, his jaw dropping open, and Mac must have not expected him to stop so abruptly because he walked right into his back. "Oof," he gasped as he bounced off Jack. "Jack? What's going on?" he asked, and Jack suddenly realized that Mac couldn't see anything except the wall and his back.

"Mac-" he started, moving forward and turning to face Mac.

Mac who took a step toward him... and froze. "D-dad?"

"Angus," James wheezed, his voice barely audible. Soot coated the burns and what was left of his clothes, and Jack holstered his gun in favor of dropping to his knees next to him and starting triage. "Thought... I told you to leave." He coughed, then glanced at Jack, eyes widening in surprise. "Dalton? Now I know this must be a hallucination."

"Nope, I'm right here, man," Jack said, hands hovering above James, because he didn't want to cause him more pain... but they were too far gone for that. "And he did leave, he... it's been days since the explosion," he told James because it was clear he didn't know how much time had passed. "Mac, you gotta call Matty," he called over his shoulder, but then he realized that Mac should have been by his side, taking care of his dad, and he was _not_ , so Jack turned his head to look at him... and found him still frozen, staring at James with huge eyes.

"Mac," Jack tried again. "Mac, I know you're goin' through shock, but I need you to get it together now." Still nothing and Jack cursed under his breath and reached for his phone, dialing Matty's number with one hand while he continued to check James out with the other. "Matty? I need a med evac _right now_ , the closest hospital, _anything_."

"Okay, okay, what's going on?" Matty asked, and she barked a command to someone - from the sounds of things she was in the war room, so probably Riley. "Jack, talk to me."

"It's James," Jack replied, deciding that the worst of the injuries appeared to be to James's back and legs. "He's burned all over pretty badly, but he's alive - possible lung damage too, I got no way of knowing here. Where can I bring him?"

"If you can get him to Russ's plane, there's a hospital on the mainland that can take him," Riley said, the call now on speaker. "Is Mac okay?"

"I have no idea, baby girl," Jack replied, glancing at Mac. "He's in shock and pretty much unresponsive, but I'll have to reboot him somehow, I'm gonna need his help. We'll call you from the plane." He hung up and put his phone back in his pocket, and gently touched James's shoulder, waiting for him to look at him. "We're gonna get you to a hospital, okay?" he said softly. "I just need to get Mac back online."

James nodded and then shut his eyes with a grimace, so Jack felt comfortable getting up and walking over to Mac. He stepped between him and his father, providing a visual blockage. "Mac? Hey, man, I could really use your help," he said, framing Mac's face with his hands to try and get his attention. "We need to get your dad to the plane, okay? We've gotta make something to carry him with."

Mac's gaze snapped to him and his blue eyes were scarily blank... but then he inhaled sharply, his eyes growing huge. "Dad!" He tried pushing past Jack to go to his father, but Jack spun around and wrapped his arms around him from behind, tugging him back.

"Mac, Mac, listen to me," he said in his ear, knowing Mac was seconds away from breaking down now that he was fully aware of what was going on. "Focus, we need to get him outta here and only you can make something to carry him with. He needs you, Mac."

Mac struggled against his hold for a moment before he slumped backward into Jack's chest. He made a ragged sound that was disturbingly close to a sob before he straightened up again. "Okay, we'll have to make a litter. I need some sturdy branches or pieces of metal, and... and some kind of fabric - our flak jackets could work."

"That's great, man, sounds great," Jack told him, exhaling in relief, because if he had to drag both MacGyvers to the plane, they definitely wouldn't make it. "You've got your knife, right?" When Mac nodded, Jack took off his jacket and handed it to him. "Start cutting the jackets, I'm gonna look for some wood or metal."

They performed their separate tasks in about five minutes, and in another five they had a sturdy litter on which to transport James. "Dad?" Mac asked, his voice thin and wavering. He cleared his throat and gently touched James's shoulder. "Can you move at all, or do you need us to put you on the litter?"

James slowly opened his eyes and exhaled softly. "I... I can-"

"Mac," Jack interjected gently, not wanting to waste any time. "Let's move him together. It's gonna be faster and hopefully less painful for him if we do it."

Mac stared at him for a moment before he nodded, pushing the hair out of his eyes. "Okay," he said quietly.

They grabbed the litter and moved it as close to James as possible and then it was time for the hardest part. "Alright, I'm gonna grab his shoulders," Jack decided. "You grab the legs, but be careful, they're badly burned."

Mac swallowed hard, steeling himself before he put his hands on his dad's legs and lifted in time with Jack. James groaned in pain, his hands clenching into fists as they lowered him onto the litter. Once that was done they picked it up in tandem and started walking out of the rubble. Thankfully James appeared to lose consciousness for the trip, and they made it back to the plane without running into any trouble.

The pilot had already been informed of the situation and as soon as they were on board he took off for the mainland.

* * *

If anyone had asked Mac how long he and Jack had been sitting in the waiting room in the hospital, he wouldn't have been able to answer. Everything seemed blurry and all he could really focus on was the wall he had been staring at for... a while now, his thoughts racing.

He couldn't believe that his dad was alive, obviously, but the empirical evidence was hard to ignore. He rubbed a hand over his face before he dropped his head into both of them, elbows resting on his knees. Jack had gone to get some coffee and find out if there was any update on his dad, and Mac suspected that the rest of the team was going to be here sooner rather than later. He knew the last thing on his mind right now should be his relationship, but the idea of facing Desi made his stomach turn.

He knew she would try to comfort him and he was already dreading it, because... he just wanted to be left alone. No, that wasn't true - he wanted to be with Jack and no one else, because Jack was the only one who knew how to just... be there for him. He swallowed down and squeezed his eyes shut, tugging on his hair maybe a bit too hard... because they should have checked the explosion site right away instead of just leaving, he should have stayed - if it wasn't for Jack, he never would have gone back and his dad would have been dying in a horrible pain for days.

He jumped when a hand touched his shoulder, but when he looked up he saw it was only Jack. "Hey, found some coffee," he said, handing Mac a warm disposable cup. "No news on your old man yet, but I called Matty again and the whole crew's on their way here." He sat down in the chair next to Mac and looked at him for a moment, gaze softening. "I know you're blaming yourself for this, Mac, but there's no way you could've known."

Mac immediately shook his head, pushing the thoughts about Desi away for now and focusing on his guilt. "I should've stayed," he whispered, barely recognizing his own voice. "We should've waited until it was possible to go in, searched for the clues right away... we would've found him then."

"Mac, you were traumatized," Jack said, his hand landing on Mac's knee for the second time that day. It was warm through the material of his jeans, solid and reassuring. "Nobody blames you for leaving, especially not your dad. Besides, if you had stayed it's entirely possible those creeps from Codex could've found you before they left."

Mac felt his eyes burn with tears and he chewed on his lower lips when it trembled. "Then why does it hurt so much?" he asked in a whisper, his voice breaking. "And what if he- if he-" He swallowed hard and tears started streaming down his face. "I can't lose him again, Jack, I- I can't-"

Jack set down his coffee on a nearby table and did the same with Mac's, and then his arms were around Mac's shoulders, hugging him. "I know, Mac," he whispered near his ear. "He'll be okay, you know your dad's tough. And we'll do whatever we can to help him."

Mac shifted until he could grip Jack's shirt with his hands and bury his face in Jack's neck, and it was pretty much the same position they had ended up in when Jack had surprised him last night. Even though Mac was usually not a very touchy-feely person and needed space more often than not, there was no place than he felt safer in than Jack's arms. He sniffled and squeezed his eyes shut, whimpering when Jack hugged him tightly, and this was exactly what he meant when he had thought about Jack being the only one who knew how to be there for him. He couldn't explain it, but... Jack was what he needed right now, in whatever capacity he could get.

He knew what he _wanted_ from Jack... but he also knew it was impossible that Jack would want anything more than friendship with him. As soon as he had that thought he pushed it aside, breathing in Jack's smell and clinging to him as hard as he could.

Someone cleared their throat, and when Mac looked up he saw a female doctor watching them. She was Mexican, obviously, but when she spoke, her English was flawless: "Hi, my name is Doctor Martinez. Are you the family of James MacGyver?"

Mac scrambled to his feet, wiping his cheeks with his hands, and he was grateful Jack also stood up and steadied him otherwise he would have fallen down. "Y-yeah," he said, and cleared his throat. "I'm his son. How is he?"

The doctor sighed and Mac's heart dropped, but then she gave him a small smile. "His burns are very severe, some of them more than the others. There's a long road ahead of him, but... he's stable. I believe that with a lot of rehab and a lot of time he should make a full recovery."

Mac's knees buckled with relief, and if it wasn't for Jack holding him he would have fallen to the floor. "Oh thank god. But what about... the cancer?"

"I took a look at the medical records your boss sent over, and there's an experimental treatment I think he would be a good candidate for," Martinez replied, her tone kind. "Would you like to see him? He's still sedated, but he should be waking up soon."

Mac nodded. "Yes, please," he said quietly, feeling his throat close up, but somehow he managed to get the words out.

"Follow me," Martinez said, thankfully not protesting when Jack also followed her, and she led them to an elevator that took them to the third floor. She showed them where James's room was and told them to ask a nurse if they needed anything, and then she left. Exhaling shakily, Mac pushed the door open and his knees almost gave out again when he saw his dad, still asleep, but _alive_.

Jack guided him over to the chairs next to James's bed, easing him down into one and sitting in the other. He kept an arm around Mac's shoulders but didn't say a word, content to let him process everything in silence. Mac reached out with a shaking hand and held his father's fingers with his own. "I'm... I'm so sorry, Dad."

James didn't reply, obviously, but it was probably for the best that he was still sedated - Mac couldn't even imagine the pain he was in while awake... although the painkillers they were pumping into him should help.

Mac swallowed hard and didn't bother trying to stop the tears, letting out a tiny sob. "You... you asked me if we could start over, back in the car," he whispered. "I'd like that."

"I... I understand why you made the choice that you did, when you had those soldiers save me," Mac continued, sniffling a little. "I think part of the reason I had such a hard time accepting it was because I... I don't see myself as an invaluable asset, or... really valuable at all. I took that out on you, and... I'm sorry, Dad. And I know you are too."

He felt Jack's arm tighten around his shoulders, and he appreciated that silent comfort and Jack's warmth pressed against him. He desperately wished he could have just sunk into his embrace and snuggle close to him, but he couldn't do that, he wasn't allowed to be with Jack like that. "Jack?" he asked softly, waiting for him to hum before whispering, "Thank you. For making me come back, I... no one would've found him otherwise."

He heard Jack swallow hard and his arm gave him a squeeze. "You're welcome, Mac," he replied quietly, and they were close enough that Mac could feel each breath Jack took. "I'm just glad we got here when we did. A few more hours and we might've been too late."

"He's still not out of the woods," Mac said, eyes fixed on his dad's sleeping face. "The cancer, it's... really aggressive. The doctors in LA told him he only has a few months to live."

"They could be wrong," Jack said quietly. "You heard the doc, she said somethin' about an experimental treatment. I'm sure you're gonna be all over it once you feel a little better."

Mac smiled weakly because Jack was right - he was already planning to ask doctor Martinez about the treatment later. "There's no guarantee it would work," he said, he couldn't help it - he wasn't an optimist, never had been. "He might even refuse to try it."

"Then that's his choice," Jack said, and... and as much as it pained Mac to admit it, he was right. He couldn't control what his father decided to do... all he could do was be there for him. "But... Mac? For whatever it's worth, I think he might try it because it would mean getting to spend more time with you. I know if I were in his shoes, I'd do everything I could to stay with Riley, even if I thought she didn't need me."

Mac nodded, suddenly too choked up to speak, but Jack didn't seem to mind. He squeezed him again and kept his arm around Mac's shoulders, still holding him close. "I never... thought I needed him, you know," Mac whispered. "Technically I don't, but I... I want more time with him. Which is selfish, but I... he's still my dad."

"There's nothing wrong with that," Jack murmured, his other hand settling on Mac's arm. "I'd give a lotta things to have five more minutes with my old man, you know that. You don't have to need somebody to want them, Mac." At that moment there was a soft knock on the door, and when Mac looked over his shoulder he saw... well, everyone.

He immediately tensed, he couldn't help it, and he knew Jack had noticed, but thankfully he didn't comment on it. The first person that stepped into the room was Matty who... had tears in her eyes and her face crumpled a little when she looked at James. She collected herself quickly, but it still caught Mac off guard a little, but he was distracted from that when everyone else came in, including Desi.

"Mac..." she started, a stray tear rolling down her cheek as she stared at his father's frail form in the bed. "I'm so sorry. If... if we'd had any idea, we could've stayed, looked for him-"

"Dez, it's... well, it's not okay, but it's not like you knew any better than I did," Mac interjected quietly, unable to meet her gaze.

He glanced at Russ and found his face was also wracked by guilt. "That doesn't make us feel any better, Angus," Russ told him, rubbing at his eyes quickly. "What, uh... what did the doctors say?"

Mac tried to answer, he really did, but no words came out, so he was grateful when Jack took over. "The burns are severe, but the doc said she expects a full recovery," he said quietly. "It's gonna take time, obviously, but... he should pull through."

Before anyone could reply, there was some shuffling and Mac realized it was Riley making her way to Jack - that was right, Jack hadn't seen her since he got back, so when he let Mac go to hug her, he wasn't really bothered by that... at least until he saw Desi walk up to him.

He stood to greet her mostly on reflex, and accepted the hug she offered, hiding his face in the dark curtain of her hair for a moment. Part of the reason this was so painful was because he _did_ love Desi... but he was certain now that he didn't love her in the way she would have liked him to. When she moved to kiss him he let her, mostly because he didn't want to cause a scene and it was a chaste press of lips anyway. Almost as soon as it started it was over, and Mac was being crushed in a hug by Bozer, who was heedless of the awkwardness.

Right now he was really grateful for it and he hugged Bozer back, closing his eyes as he tried to figure out a way out of this mess. Once Bozer let him go he found himself being hugged by Riley and he was aware of Jack kneeling down to give a hug to Matty who accepted right away, which was a thing that didn't happen very often.

"I feel left out, nobody's hugging me," a quiet, hoarse voice startled everyone, and when Mac spun around he saw his dad was awake.

"Jim!" Matty exclaimed, reaching for his hand and squeezing it tightly. "Don't be a smartass, it's kind of hard to hug someone that's covered in burns."

"Plus we all thought you were dead," Riley added, still hanging on to Mac. "But I think I can speak for everybody when I say that's not the case."

"We should've looked for you," Russ said, shaking his head a little, one shoulder leaned against the wall. "That was an oversight on my part, James, and I'm terribly sorry."

Mac's eyes widened when his dad snorted and chuckled a little. "Thought I was supposed to be Oversight," he mumbled, and that was when Mac remembered the painkillers his dad was on. "Good one, Taylor. And don't worry about it," he added, his hand twitching, and Mac knew he would have been waving Russ off if he could have. "To be fair, I didn't even realize how much time passed. When I..." He paused to clear his throat. "When I saw Angus I figured it had only been hours... which brings me to my next question. Dalton, what the hell are you doing here?"

"I came back when Mac called me and told me what happened to you," Jack said, which was a... simplified version of the truth, but James didn't need all the details just yet. "And since everybody thought you were dead, he was... real torn up about it."

"Jack suggested that I come back to the island to get some closure," Mac added, still feeling like he was having some weird out of body experience, or this was all a dream and he was going to wake up any second. "Without him... you wouldn't be here."

"Looks like you saved my life... again," James mumbled, looking at Jack, and it took Mac a moment to realize he was probably referring to Jack saving them from the burning lab. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it," Jack said, shaking his head. "How are you feelin', man?" he asked, while Mac did his best not to tense when Desi grabbed his hand and linked their links their fingers together. "They've got you on some nice painkillers."

"Better than I was earlier," James said, coughing a little. Several people tried to get him water at the same time, and finally Bozer handed him a cup to sip from. "Thanks. I honestly don't know how I survived that. Any ideas, Angus?"

Mac thought about it for a moment, running his free hand through his hair. "If I had to guess I'd say the blast went upward, not outward," he said. "The debris that fell killed the men who were after us, but you still got burned by the resulting fire."

"Could be," James muttered before he looked between all of them. "So? Which one of you is gonna tell me how bad it is?"

"Actually..." Jack started, and once again Mac was grateful for that because he still felt like he was going to lose it any moment now. "The burns are severe... but you're expected to make a full recovery. Eventually."

"There's an experimental treatment," Mac blurted out before anyone else could speak, staring at his father intently. "It's at this hospital and the doctor who treated your burns thinks you'd be a good candidate for it."

"Angus, I -" James started, but Mac shook his head.

"No, Dad, I... I thought I lost you once, I can't do it again," he interjected. "I know it's selfish, but I need you to at least try."

"I was going to say I'd be happy to talk to the doctor," James said gently, reaching out to cover Mac's hand with his own. "But I can't ask you all to uproot your lives and live in Mexico for... however long this takes."

Mac was about to tell him that he didn't give a damn about that, but Matty beat him to it. "From what I remember, Mac has a lot of vacation time, since he never uses it," she said. "And we can... figure something out. We could all take turns at flying down here and spending time with you, Jim." She turned to give Russ a pointed look. "Unless Taylor here has a problem with it."

"I've got a better idea," Russ declared, and looked very much like he wanted to stick his tongue out at Matty but resisted. He pulled out his phone instead. "An old friend of mine has a house that's not far from here - I'm sure he wouldn't mind if we stayed there for a while. We _all_ have vacation time... and after everything that's happened lately, I suppose we could use it."

He ducked out of the room to make a phone call, and there was a beat of silence before Riley said, "Okay, we're sure that's Russ, right? Because that was... out of character."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Jack drawled, staring at the door with narrowed eyes, and Mac couldn't help but smile a little.

"Hush it, Dalton, you're biased," Matty said, rolling her eyes.

"And you're not?" Jack asked incredulously. "From what I heard you and Taylor have been snapping at each other since the very beginning."

"And who told you _that_?" Matty asked, her voice dropping lower, and to anyone who didn't know her she would have sounded dangerous... but Mac knew she was just teasing.

"Everyone!" Jack exclaimed, waving his arms a little, his expression going indignant. "Actually, _you_ told me that when I was on the plane back here!"

"It's true, you did," Desi said, raising an eyebrow in Matty's direction. "Besides, it would be nice to have a little getaway - you know, without having to pretend to be normal."

She looked at Riley, who held her hands up in supplication. "That was my bad, guys. I... I should've known that I couldn't have the best of both worlds, and I'm sorry I dragged you and Mac into it."

"It's okay, Riles," Mac said quietly, giving her a small smile while his mind was spinning in circles because Desi mentioning pretending to be normal... it reminded him of the conversation he had had with Jack about how he didn't want normal. And how he didn't think he wanted to have a not normal relationship with Desi.

"Yeah, Riley, it's fine," Desi's voice brought him out of his thoughts. "Besides, that date wasn't a total disaster." She squeezed Mac's hand. "Made us realize normal is overrated and it's better if we're just us."

Mac mustered up a smile on the outside, while on the inside he was trying very hard not to vomit. "I'm sorry, can we backtrack for a second?" Bozer asked, gesturing toward Riley. "Are we just gonna ignore how Riles literally just said she wanted 'the best of both worlds'? Is she secretly Hannah Montana?"

"What's most disturbing in all of this is that _you_ know about Hannah Montana," Russ said as he came back into the room. "We're all set to check out the house, by the way."

" _Everyone_ knows about Hannah Montana!" Bozer exclaimed, pointing at Russ. "You included."

Russ made a pained sound, a tortured look on his face. "Yes, unfortunately." He shook his head. "Anyway. Like I said, the house is ours if we want it."

"It better has many rooms because otherwise we're all going to kill each other," Matty pointed out, and James let out a chuckle followed by a cough.

"You can always stay here with me," he said hoarsely, and once again Mac felt like he had woken up in a surreal world, especially when he saw his dad _wink_ at Matty.

Matty _blushed_ , which was a sight Mac was sure he would never see, and Desi cleared her throat and tugged at his hand. "Maybe we should give these two some time alone?"

"Good idea," Jack agreed, and then had some kind of silent conversation with Bozer that resulted in him agreeing to stay so that he could head over to the house with Matty when she was ready.

The rest of them walked out of the room and then out of the hospital into bright Mexican sunshine, and that was when Mac finally had the presence of mind to ask, "Where the hell are we?"

"Tijuana," Russ replied, waving them on down the street. "Come on, it's not far. We can walk."

Desi was still holding his hand and even though she wasn't doing anything else, Mac already felt like he was suffocating... which made him feel like an asshole. Russ walked with his hands in his pockets, deeply in thought, and Riley was chatting with Jack, clearly very happy that he was back. It was nice to see them reunited and there was something warm spreading through his chest - he just... loved seeing Jack this happy.

"Hey," Desi murmured quietly enough only for him to hear her, and when Mac looked at him she smiled. "You doing okay? I can't even imagine how it must've felt to find your dad like that."

Mac swallowed hard and shook his head a little. "It was, um... I froze up," he admitted, because even if he was thinking about breaking things off with her, Desi was still his friend... or at least he hoped she would be. "Jack was the one who took charge, and if he hadn't we'd probably still be stuck out there."

"Yeah, Dalton's good at that," Desi said, her smile widening. "You must be happy to have him back."

"I really am," Mac said, unable to hold back a smile... but thankfully he managed to keep it normal, no longing and too much... affection in it. "I missed him a lot."

"I know you did," Desi said, squeezing his hand again. "So did everyone else, so I'm glad he got back from the mission in one piece."

They fell silent for the rest of the walk, and when they arrived at the house Russ had told them about it turned out to be less of a house and more of a mansion. "Damn, your friend must be pretty important to have a fenced-off mansion in the middle of Tijuana," Riley commented.

Russ shrugged his shoulders. "He's a former ambassador, owes me several favors." He punched in the code for the gate and it swung open. "After you."

Riley walked in first, Jack following right behind, and Mac didn't miss the way he looked around, clearly checking their surroundings, just in case. Russ closed the gate once they were all in and then he opened the huge front door. "Whoa," Desi commented when they stepped inside, and Mac couldn't really blame her - the mansion was gorgeous from what they could see and he was sure there was much more to explore.

Desi let go of his hand and Mac tried very hard not to breathe out in relief, and casually walked away... drifting toward Jack. "You good, hoss?" Jack murmured once he was close enough. "Just so you know, you're foolin' everyone but me, so you're good for now."

Mac frowned. "Is it that obvious?"

"Only to me," Jack said, and that shouldn't have made that warm thing in Mac's chest get bigger, but it had. In a louder voice, he says to Russ, "So, Taylor, how many bedrooms are we talking?"

"Seven, which should be more than enough," Russ replied, going into the kitchen to check out the food situation. "We'll need to make a run to the market for produce, but the pantry is stocked."

"Jack and I can go," Riley offered before Mac could. "I'd like to catch up some more."

Mac got that, he really did, so he was only a little upset that she had beaten him to it. "Great," Russ said, clapping his hands together. "I'm gonna head back to the hospital, our bags are still in the car drove from the airport."

Jack shot Mac an apologetic look and that was when Mac realized he was going to be alone with Desi for the first time in... a while. What was even worse, he realized that everyone would expect them to share a bedroom, Desi included, and since Mac didn't want to break her heart in front of everyone... he would have to play along.

Desi grabbed his hand again, pulling him up the sweeping staircase to the second floor. "This place is beautiful," she commented, and then wrinkled her nose. "Italian architecture in Mexico is a little weird, but there's a pool out back so I think I can get over it."

"We could go for a swim?" Mac suggested, trying to figure out a way to avoid the bedroom - he was still flying high on the adrenaline from discovering his father was alive, and being around Desi when he was like this was dangerous. "Underwear doubles as bathing suits."

"Sure, we could do that," Desi said with a shrug. "If there wasn't a risk of the guys coming back soon, I'd suggest no underwear at all," she added with a grin, and Mac's heart clenched, not in a good way. Desi stopped walking and turned until she was standing right in front of him, the grin of her face softening a little. "Or... we could take your mind off things," she suggested, brushing her fingers through his hair. "What do you say?"

Mac didn't respond with words. Instead his body took control, arms sliding around Desi's middle as he drew her in for a kiss. Her lips were soft but resilient against his, giving as good as she got as she grabbed on to his shirt and pulled him backward into the nearest bedroom. There she pushed him back, but only to strip off her shirt and bra while he took off his button-down.

He tossed it aside and pulled Desi in for another kiss, even harder and hungrier than the previous one, and he started backing her toward the bed. He _knew_ this was an awful idea, and that in the end he was only going to hurt Desi even more, but it was too late now. If he pushed her away now, it was going to be awkward and suspicious, and Mac couldn't deal with that right now.

He inhaled sharply when Desi bit down on his lower lip and fell back on to the mattress, taking him with her. She kissed like she fought, harshly and with no remorse, and her hands skimmed over his back and arms before drifting to his belt buckle. In turn he brought a hand up to cup her breast, thumbing over her nipple and breaking the kiss to mouth over her jaw.

She let out a soft gasp, followed by a frustrated sound when she couldn't get his belt open. Mac smiled against her skin, but it was mostly a reflex, and moved lower to suck on her collarbone, figuring any marks he left there would be covered by a shirt. Eventually Desi got his pants open and he moaned when her hand slid into his underwear, fingers wrapping around his cock.

For a split second Mac imagined her hand was bigger and rougher, with gun callouses hardened by age and experience. He pushed that thought away and his hips twitched into her touch, so he figured it was only polite to reciprocate. He found the button on her pants and got them open, kicking off his own boots while he dragged her pants down. She let out a soft moan when he got his fingers inside her underwear, groaning himself when he felt she was already getting wet.

He was only half-hard and he knew he needed to do something about it, so he closed his eyes, tried to focus on Desi's hand stroking him... but instead he once again imagined a different hand, Jack's firm body underneath him... and he moaned loudly, hips twitching again. "That's it, baby," Desi murmured into his ear, nipping on the lobe and stroking him faster, groaning when Mac teased her with his fingers. "You've got condoms in your bag?"

Mac nodded, rubbing slow circles over her clit and licking his suddenly dry lips. "Yeah, I've... got some, hang on." Logistics were a little bit of a problem, but thankfully he and Jack had both dropped their bags by the stairs, so he was able to just grab his and race back to the bedroom. He closed the door this time and when he turned back to the bed he saw that Desi was fully naked and waiting for him... and with a start he realized that as beautiful and amazing as she was, she just wasn't who he wanted.

It wasn't like he could tell her that _now_ , so he put his bag on the floor and started going through it. He found the condoms a moment later and now he had to get back on the bed, he couldn't stall any longer. He tossed the condoms on the mattress and took off his jeans and underwear before crawling on top of Desi and kissing her again.

The touch of her lips still made sparks flare low in his belly, but Mac was certain that was a physical reaction, not an emotional one. He needed a moment to gain his composure before they did this, so he kissed his way down her body, paying particular attention to her tattoos. She spread her legs and threaded her fingers into his hair, tugging when he licked over her, musky flavor bursting on his tongue.

He tries not to think about how he would have much rather sucked a cock - not just any cock, _Jack's_ cock that was no doubt big and- _no_ , he wasn't supposed to think about it. "Oh, Mac," Desi's breathless moan brought him back, and he pressed himself closer, focusing on eating her out. "Oh baby, that feels good."

Her leg hooked around his shoulders, powerful muscles tight against his skin. He didn't have to spend long licking and nibbling at her folds before he could slide a finger inside her, crooking it up to tease her g-spot. "Fuck, Mac," Desi said, crying out sharply, and then she was spasming around his finger and tongue, coating his chin in her come. He licked everything up and then sat back, reaching for the condoms.

He took advantage of Desi currently not looking at him and he stroked himself a few times because his cock had gone down a little. Once he was fully hard again he ripped the condom open with his teeth and rolled it on his cock, leaning over Desi again and pressing their mouths together in a filthy kiss. She moaned when she tasted herself on his tongue and she slid her hands to his ass, pushing him closer, always impatient, always urging him to move faster.

Sometimes Mac wanted to slow down, to take his time and enjoy all the sensations he was experiencing, but that was just not possible with Desi. He hitched his hands under her knees and bent her legs toward her chest as he pushed inside, groaning when he felt her squeeze tight and hot around his cock.

Her hands were gripping his shoulders before she wrapped her arms around him, nails digging into his back. He moaned again when he bottomed out, stilling for a moment, but then Desi thrusted up as much as she could in this position. Exhaling shakily, Mac buried his face in her neck and started moving, slowly pushing in and out of her, squeezing his eyes shut and wondering what the fuck he was doing. "Yeah, baby, that's it," Desi moaned, being as vocal as she usually was. "Harder, Mac, come on."

He heard her words and obeyed, thrusting harder... but in his mind the words sounded deeper and raspier, with just a hint of a Texas twang... and _oh_ , he was fucked in every sense of the word, wasn't he? He couldn't control the way he felt about Jack anymore, couldn't relegate his fantasies to the back of his mind. It was spurring on his movements, though, making them rougher and faster, and apparently that was exactly what Desi wanted because she threw her head back and came again.

She spasmed around him, crying out, but they had been doing this long enough that Mac could tell she wasn't done. He growled and let go of her legs to brace his forearms on the mattress and he continued fucking her fast and hard... only in his mind he was fucking Jack. He knew that even if Jack had been into guys somehow - in an alternate universe maybe - he would have probably been exclusively a top, but this was Mac's imagination and he could picture anything he wanted.

He pictured how Jack would have tensed and moaned underneath him, those rough hands gripping at his shoulders. His cock would have been hard and leaking against his stomach as Mac continued to pound into him... and squeezing him like a vise as he started to come. He buried his face in Desi's neck and moaned his pleasure, biting his tongue at the last second to keep Jack's name from leaving his lips. He reached down and rubbed over her clit until she came for a third time, scratching at his back and gasping at his ear.

His hips continued twitching, grinding into Desi as he rode out his orgasm. He finally stilled a moment later and collapsed on her, panting and realizing that he had just come harder than in... he wasn't even sure how long. Swallowing hard, he pulled out and rolled on his back since he knew Desi didn't enjoy being pinned under him for too long and he lied like that, breathing heavily, with his eyes closed... feeling worse with each passing second.

As an afterthought he got rid of the condom, and while he would have normally felt morose when he thought about the fact that Desi didn't like to cuddle (at least with him), now it was a relief. She went into the bathroom and a moment he heard the water run, so he sat up and got dressed quickly, leaving the room and heading downstairs.

Thankfully no one was back yet, otherwise it would have been awkward because Desi's shouts had been for sure audible downstairs. After a moment he decided to go outside and sit by the pool Desi had mentioned early, the sinking feeling in his stomach getting even worse. Sleeping with Desi had been a terrible idea considering his recent realizations about not wanting to be with her, but his body had reacted automatically... which was yet another proof that there was something wrong with their relationship. Not to mention that Mac had spent the entire time thinking of Jack while he had been fucking Desi, and that was just... low.

"There you are," Desi's voice, basically a purr, sounded behind him. "I kinda expected you to join me in the shower."

Mac's shoulders tensed, and he pulled his legs out of the pool and stood up to face her. "Dez, I... we need to talk," he said haltingly, hands clenching into fists near his thighs. He looked into her surprised eyes for a moment, and then had to glance away. "I... I haven't been honest with you, and I feel awful about it."

"Mac, what are you talking about?" Desi asked, her voice soft, and it made him feel even worse. "You can tell me anything, you know that." Mac couldn't help but snort at that because that had _never_ worked between them, and when he saw Desi step closer, he took a step back.

He forced himself to look at her and while she looked confused, there was no hurt in her eyes... yet. "Desi, I... I don't love you."

Desi went still, her hand freezing in midair where she was reaching for him. "Mac... where is this coming from?"

"I just can't do it anymore," Mac said, swallowing hard. "I thought we could make this work, but... it's not going to."

Desi was quiet for a long moment, and then she said the last thing Mac expected: "It's Jack, isn't it?"

Mac was pretty sure he hid his real reaction quite well, not wanting to reveal too much. "What? What do you mean?"

"I mean, ever since he came back you've been acting weird," Desi said, crossing her arms over her chest and staring at the pool. "Before that you were being an asshole, ignoring everyone... but that was normal, or so I was told." She chuckled humorlessly. "But you've been avoiding me even more since he came back." She turned to look at him again. "Jack's straight, Mac. Whatever you're feeling for him... it's never gonna happen. But us-" Her voice turned pleading which was something that rarely happened. "We were doing better this time, weren't we? You said you don't want normal and... we're so good together."

"But we're not good together, Dez," Mac said, taking a deep breath to brace himself against the hurt that lanced through his heart. He knew Jack was straight, but... it didn't change how he felt. "We did better this time, yeah... but better isn't good enough."

"Somehow I think nothing's good enough for you," Desi snapped, taking her own step back this time. "And for the record, I think you're just going to get hurt, which isn't something I want to see happen. Trust me, having a crush that you _know_ is unrequited is no fun."

That... made Mac pause, but only for a second because right now he was too preoccupied with other parts of the conversation to focus on that. "So what, would you prefer we stayed together and hurt each other instead?" he asked bitterly. "Because that's what we do best, right next to fucking." He was a little surprised by the... anger he felt, although it was mostly directed at himself. "We might've been doing better, but... that's not what I want."

"Then what the hell do you want?" Desi asked, and she was angry now as well, and hurt, which means she was... explosive. "I think you don't even know-"

"I want someone who understands me!" Mac interjected, the words out of his throat before he could stop them.

Desi jaw went slack. "You want to be _understood_? Well, here's what I understand about you, Mac - you're so fucking insular that nobody's ever going to understand you because you won't _let_ them!" She was shouting now, and Mac felt eyes on his back and knew that the others were back from their respective chores. "You think _I_ don't share well? Getting anything meaningful out of you is like pulling fucking teeth!"

All of Mac's insecurities suddenly reared their heads, how he was always too weird, too clingy, too distant, too freaky, or too annoying for anyone to stay. "It's not easy for me, okay?" he shouted back. "And it didn't help that you kept pushing and pushing, wanting to know _everything_! Whether it was sex or just... talking, you were always in a rush, always impatient." He forced himself to exhale shakily, trying to calm down. "Sometimes taking things slow is better, but that was never an option with you."

"Well, I never knew you wanted slow because you _never told me anything_!" Desi yelled, and then she looked around him at where the others were standing, awkwardly listening to the dissolution of their relationship. "What? You guys don't have anything better to do?"

"They might not, but I do," Mac said, shaking his head. "We're done, Desi."

He turned and walked toward the house, blinking back the tears burning his eyes. He walked right through and out the front door, heading for a bar they had walked by earlier on autopilot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment if you enjoyed it! ♥


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! 
> 
> As always, thank you for the great comments for the last chapter... and now that Mac and Desi are over, the MacDalton party may begin!
> 
> We hope you enjoy this one!

Everyone flinched when the front door slammed shut behind Mac and Jack swallowed hard because what they had just witnessed... it was messy and he knew Mac was hurting right now, and Jack couldn't stand it. They had all gotten back to the mansion at the same time - him and Riley from the market, and Russ along with Matty and Bozer from the hospital - and it was just when the shouting had started.

Russ looked like he wanted to go and follow Mac, but both Jack and Bozer stopped him. "Don't," Jack said quietly. "He doesn't want to see anyone right now."

"Oh, I don't think that's true," Matty said, nudging Jack's leg with her elbow. "Blondie's almost always up for your company."

Desi snorted when she heard that. "Don't worry about me, I'm just fine," she said caustically, pushing past them all to go up the stairs. "I just take things too fast and don't have feelings, that's all."

A door on the second floor slammed shut a moment later, and Riley winced. "Should I go talk to her?" she wondered aloud, looking worried.

Jack sighed and rubs his face with his hand. "Honestly? I have no idea," he admitted after a moment. "I think at this point you might know her better than I do, especially when it comes to... personal stuff." He glanced down at Matty. "And while you may be right about Mac... he needs a short moment alone. Not too long, thought, or he'll start getting lost in that head of his."

Riley chewed on her lower lip for a moment before she took in a deep breath and headed up the stairs. "Gotta say, whatever I was expecting to walk into when we got back here, it wasn't that," Bozer commented, and they all nodded in agreement.

Jack counted to a hundred in his head and then he headed out the door after Mac. A survey of the street left few options for places for him to go, and Jack decided the bar was the most likely choice.

He kept replying the part of the fight that they had heard in his head, but he needed the full picture before he attempted to comfort Mac somehow. He sighed again, because Mac had already had a rough few days, and Jack just hoped this didn't send him spiraling down. He entered the bar and since it was a late afternoon, there were some people inside, but it wasn't crowded. He glanced around and sure enough, Mac was right there, sitting by the counter... two empty shot glasses next to him.

Jack raised his eyebrows, because while Mac liked a beer or even a glass of good whiskey now and then, tequila shots were an entirely different animal - the last time they had done shots together Jack had wound up wrestling a bear, and that wasn't an experience he wanted to relive. "Hey, kid," he said, climbing on to the stool next to Mac. "Gonna order one of those for me?"

Mac didn't look even remotely surprised by Jack showing up and he gestured at the bartender, showing up two fingers. "Hey," he muttered, and he already sounded tipsy which meant the bartender had taken some of the glasses away before Jack showed up and that Mac had had a _lot_ to drink in a very short time.

"Hey there, buddy," Jack replied. "I guess askin' you if you're okay is pretty pointless, huh?"

Mac snorted much like Desi did as he accepted the shots from the bartender. He downed his without responding, pushing the other one toward Jack. "No, I'm not okay," he said, voice gone raspy from the alcohol. "Haven't been okay for a long fucking time. I've gotten good at pretending though, you should be proud."

Jack grabbed the shot and downed it as well because he had a feeling he was going to need it for this conversation. "Why would I be proud because of that?" he asked, frowning a little. He didn't get an answer, so he sighed and this time he gestured at the bartender for more shots. "Okay, hoss, why don't we start with today? I'm guessin' you decided to talk to Desi after what you told me on the plane?"

"Kinda," Mac mumbled, staring at his empty glass. "Probably would've gone better if I hadn't fucked her first."

Jack choked on his own spit and had to take a moment to clear his throat, caught off-guard more by Mac's phrasing than the act itself. "Yeah, it... she might not have been quite as pissed."

"Oh no, she was gonna be pissed no matter what," Mac said, chuckling bitterly. "But that's another thing I'm good at, isn't it? Pissing people off and pushing them away."

Jack's eyes widen. "Mac, you don't-"

"But I do, Jack," Mac interjected, downing another shot when the bartender brought them.

"Deja la botella," Jack murmured, figuring the bartender might as well have left the bottle instead of going back and forth.

"Desi had a point, didn't she?" Mac continued. "I never let people in, or I push them away, or both. No wonder everyone leaves me."

"You can be a little... hard to get to know," Jack allowed, pouring them some real glasses of tequila and hoping they could sip instead of slugging it down. "But that's not a bad thing, and Desi ain't exactly an open book."

"No, but she's... she's shared a lot of herself with me," Mac said, his words slurring slightly. The yellowed lights of the bar reflected off his eyes, and Jack had the inappropriate thought that he looked beautiful right now, tousled and a little sweaty. "And I _wanted_ to share more with her, I did... but it's just so fucking hard for me to trust people."

Jack's heart clenched painfully and he fought the urge to pull Mac into a hug, knowing he wouldn't have appreciated being touched... just yet. "I know, Mac, but... that's kinda understandable, you know?" he said softly. "You've been burned so many times, no wonder you're cautious."

Mac snorted. "Jack, we've been together for six months and some," he said. "More than enough time to learn to trust your girlfriend like that, wouldn't you say?" He shook his head. "We were doomed from the start."

"Hey now," Jack protested, not liking how Mac seemed to take all the blame on himself. "I may not know the details, but I'm sure you're not the only one to blame here."

Mac took a sip of tequila and continued staring at his glass. "You know what's funny?" he asked, ignoring what Jack had just said. "It took me thirty days to start trusting _you_. Not to have my back, that I trusted you with from the beginning... but with everything else. Took me thirty fucking days. A month."

Jack blinked in surprise, because he hadn't expected the conversation to turn toward _him_ , unless... no, that wasn't possible. "I remember, I ain't that old," he joked, trying to cover the way his heart had just started beating double-time. "And I was just as grateful for that trust then as I am now. But I gotta ask... why am I different from Desi, or anybody else?"

Mac sighed and raised his glass again, taking a huge gulp and wincing when the tequila most likely burned down his throat. "Because you... you _understand_ me," he whispered in a tiny voice, barely audible, and Jack's mind flashed back to the fight between Mac and Desi. "Even when you were annoyed by me at first, you... seemed to know how my brain works and you..." He trailed off and then Jack was alarmed to hear him sniffle. "You understood me."

"Okay, okay, how about we move this party somewhere else, huh?" Jack suggested, because Mac was right, he did understand him - and he knew that Mac would feel even worse tomorrow if he found out he had gotten drunk and cried in front of a bar full of people. "We can go back to the mansion-"

"No," Mac interjected, his voice cracking as he shook his head. "I can't go back there, not now... I can't face Desi yet."

Jack wracked his brain for an alternative, grabbing the bottle he had asked for and slapping some money down on the counter. "Okay, then how about a motel?"

"But I don't have anything with me except my wallet," Mac whispered, sounding so _miserable_ that it broke Jack's heart. "I don't-"

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Jack interjected softly, gently grabbing Mac's elbow with his free hand. "I think I saw a hotel nearby, we could go there, get a room, and then I'll call Bozer and ask him to bring our bags? I'm sure everyone will understand why you don't want to stay at the mansion."

Mac considered that for longer than he should have to, but he was drunk so it was understandable. He nodded a moment later, so Jack tugged him off his stool and they headed outside. He spotted the hotel in question almost immediately and moved in that direction, keeping one hand on Mac's arm so he didn't stumble and fall.

When they reached the hotel Jack sat him down on a bench outside and handed him the tequila. "Stay here and hold this, okay? This might be Mexico, but I doubt they'd give me a room if I had an open container and a guy who's clearly drunk with me."

Mac blinked up at him with those gorgeous eyes and wrapped his arms around the bottle. "Okay," he murmured, and Jack smiled a little, patting his shoulder.

"Good. Don't drink it, wait until we're inside," he told him, and then headed inside. He walked up to the lobby and asked for a room in flawless Spanish, giving the lady working there his best charming smile. Once he had a key, he went back outside where he found Mac's still on the bench, still cuddling the tequila, but thankfully it didn't seem he had been drinking while Jack was gone.

Jack jangled the key to get Mac's attention, offering him a steadying hand when he got to his feet. "We're all set. Let's get into the room and then I'll call Bozer." He tugged Mac along by his shoulder and found their room with relative ease. He was pleasantly surprised by how clean it was on the inside, since the outside wasn't very pretty. "You settle in, I'll be right outside."

Mac nodded a little and sat down on the bed, and once Jack made sure he was fine, he stepped outside. He took his phone out and found Bozer's name before calling him. "Hey, Jack, what's up?" Bozer answered right away. "How's Mac?"

"Drunk," was Jack's response, and he made a sympathetic noise when Bozer groaned. "I know, I know, but there's nothing I can do about it now. He's in there cuddling a bottle of top-shelf tequila like it's his best friend in the world." He rubbed his forehead. "How's Desi?"

Bozer sighed. "Well... there was a lot of shouting at first," he said, and Jack could basically hear him wince. "It was quite scary and I think Riley got the worst show since she was in the room with Desi when it was happening... but we could all hear it from downstairs." A pause. " _Then_ there was throwing things... you should see the look on Russ's face, but it's quiet now. Riley's with us now."

That... was honestly a better answer than what Jack had expected. "Okay, well, I think Mac and I are gonna spend the night at the hotel down the street. That'll give Desi some time to cool off and Mac an opportunity to stop blaming himself for everything wrong with the world." He sighed. "Would you mind bringing our bags over? We're in room thirteen."

"Sure, I remember seeing the hotel on our way from the hospital, I'll be right there," Bozer said, and then he hesitated. "Look, Jack... I'm sure you already figured it out, but there's probably a lot to unpack there." Jack nodded, because he definitely knew that. "He never talked much about the relationship to any of us... it didn't help that we didn't see each other a lot while the Phoenix was disbanded." There was a lot of regret audible in Bozer's voice. "Anyway... now that he's drunk, it may all come out."

"I know I haven't been there for him lately, Boze, but that changes right now," Jack said, and they exchanged a few more words before hanging up. He ducked back inside the room and found Mac where he had left him on the bed... only the first couple of buttons on his shirt were undone, sweat pooling in the hollow of his throat. "You hot, hoss? I can crank the AC."

Mac slowly turned his head to look at him and Jack swallowed hard, pushing any inappropriate thoughts away. It wasn't easy, though, Mac was all pretty and sweaty, but the last thing Jack needed was revealing his feeling and ruining everything. Mac didn't reply, but it really was warm in the room, so Jack turned up the AC before he sat down next to Mac.

"Look, man..." he started. "You clearly need to get this all off your chest, so... I'm all ears." Mac was still quiet and Jack sighed, realizing Mac may have needed some nudging. "You said on the plane that even though on paper Desi was perfect, it wasn't working out, and that you didn't know why." It had been a lie, Jack knew, but he wasn't going to call him out on it. "You must've figured it out if you decided to end it _today_."

Mac exhaled shakily and then opened the bottle and took a huge gulp right there, not bothering with a glass. "She yawned when I got excited in a museum," he mumbled, and that was... not what Jack had expected. "We took a trip to Southeast Asia," Mac explained, passing the bottle over to Jack when he held his hand out for it. "This was before we broke up for the first time, I thought it would be the perfect time for a vacation. Plus if we went to Vietnam, I thought... well, it doesn't matter what I thought." He cleared his throat. "We went to this museum, and I was excited about an exhibit, and she... yawned. She was bored. With me. And then some stuff happened... and we wound up working on our trip, which wasn't the goal at all."

"Mac, this is-" Jack started, but he didn't get to finish.

"There was no Phoenix at that point, but we saved this woman from being imprisoned... and I already told you what happened when we were high on adrenaline," Mac continued. "We weren't right for each other in so many ways and I... I wish I understood that sooner." When Jack didn't give him the bottle back he basically yanked it out of his hand. "Feeling like you're suffocating is a clear sign something's wrong, right?"

"Yeah, it is," Jack said, watching for an opportunity to take the bottle away and stash it somewhere - maybe in a dumpster. "I... I've never admitted this to anyone, but... that's how I felt with Diane sometimes."

Mac's eyes got comically huge. "Wait, what? But I thought... you sounded like you were so happy with her."

"I was, for the most part," Jack said, taking a sip off the bottle and trying not to think about how Mac's lips had just touched it. "But when she found out about the real me - about what I'm really capable of - it... broke us."

"That's fucking stupid," Mac mumbled, and Jack choked at his choice of words again. "You were pro... prot... _protecting_ her," he continued, struggling with words a little. "You kicked Elwood's ass to protect her and she was stupid not to see it." His eyes widened again. "No offense," he added, and usually Jack would have laughed because Mac was adorable... but the conversation was too serious.

"Desi didn't like to cuddle," Mac suddenly said after a moment of silence, and then sighed miserably. "And I... I like cuddling. After sex."

Jack's cheeks burned and he wasn't sure how the hell to respond to that - but thankfully he was saved by a knock on the door. He hopped up to answer it and found Bozer on the other side. "Hey," he said, his usually jovial tone subsided. He held out their bags to Jack and peered around him to wave at Mac. "Hi, dude."

Mac looked at them and his eyes widened when he saw Bozer. "Boze!" he said with a grin, and then stood up, attempting to make his way to them. He swayed a lot and Jack knew it was a matter of time before he tripped, so he set the bags aside and rushed to his side.

"Whoa, whoa, easy," he said, grabbing him around the waist just as Mac inevitably tripped over his feet. "Just... wave back to Bozer from here and then we're gonna sit back down, okay?"

"M'kay," Mac mumbled, and waved at Bozer who gave Jack a sympathetic smile and left, closing the door.

"Back to the bed, buddy," Jack grunted, and hauled Mac back, exhaling in relief when Mac was once again sitting on the edge of the mattress. He went to lock the door, a part of him hoping that maybe Mac passed out soon, but apparently he wasn't done talking.

"I shouldn't have slept with her today after you left," he mumbled, and Jack cursed everything, especially the fact that Mac kept bringing up sex. "I knew it was a bad idea and when I saw her gorgeous and naked I knew I didn't wanna be with her... but I fucked her anyway."

Jack knew he had to say _something_ , but his mouth had gone dry and he was staring at Mac's rumpled shirt and the way his was is hanging in his face. "So... then why did you do it?"

Those huge blue eyes looked back at him, luminous and vulnerable. "I shouldn't tell you," he whispered, suddenly distraught. "Y-You... you'd hate me if you knew the truth."

Jack's eyes widened and he was moving before he knew it, sitting down next to Mac again. "Hey, none of that," he said, somehow managing to keep his voice steady. "I could never hate you, Mac. There's nothin' you could ever tell me that would make me hate you." He had no idea where this was coming from and what exactly Mac had done that was supposedly bad enough for Jack to hate him, but he needed to get that thought out of Mac's head right now.

Mac's lower lip trembled and then he looked away, staring at his hands. "I slept with her because... because she offered to take my mind off things," he said quietly, and that was... not bad, so Jack was confused. "I would've preferred a hug, but that wasn't her way of comforting. Anyway, I was still riding high on adrenaline, so... my body reacted automatically." He sighed, and Jack desperately tried not to think about Mac having sex with Desi. "I knew it was bad... but that wasn't the worst thing I did."

Jack froze. He didn't want to presume anything about how Mac and Desi had... done things, but he blurted out what he was thinking anyway: "You wore a condom, right?"

"Yeah, that wasn't a problem," Mac said, bringing both of his hands up to rub at his face before running them through his hair, mussing it further. Then his gaze swung over to Jack's face, and he licked his lips. "I wasn't thinking about her when I came. I was thinking about you."

Jack was pretty sure that even if a bomb had gone off in their room, he wouldn't have noticed because he was too busy staring at Mac with huge eyes. "W-what?" he stammered, trying to stop the ringing in his head.

"Actually... I was thinking about you the entire time," Mac continued, looking at Jack with those beautiful eyes that were darker than usually. "I imagined her hand on my dick was your hand... and when I ate her out, I thought how I would've much rather sucked your cock." Jack was still frozen, staring at Mac, and he wondered what kind of crazy, cruel nightmare he was having right now... because it couldn't be real. "And then..." Mac trailed off, licking his lips again. "When I was fucking her... I imagined I was fucking you. I came harder than I had in a long time, moaning your name in my head."

Jack tried his hardest to form words, but his mouth moved with no sound. He was hot all over suddenly, coated in a thin layer of sweat, and his gaze dropped to Mac's mouth without his control.

Mac didn't seem to notice, however, too busy wobbling up to his feet. There were tears in his eyes and he looked absolutely devastated. "And now you hate me, just like I knew you would," he said, choking on a sob. "I'll go back to the mansion. Maybe I can sleep outside or something."

That was enough to reboot Jack's brain, at least a little, and he jumped to his feet and grabbed Mac by the elbow. "No, no, no, don't go," he said, words stumbling out of his mouth. "I don't hate you, I swear." He moved around to stand in front of Mac, keeping his hand on his elbow in case Mac lost his balance... and because he needed to _feel_ him to make sure this was real. "I was just... surprised. And I'm trying to figure out what to do because you're drunk and I don't want to take advantage of you by kissing you senseless."

Mac swayed a little and Jack tightened his grip on his arm. "You... _you_ want to kiss _me_?" he asked, his tone incredulous. He looked genuinely confused, like Jack had told him something so astounding that even his genius brain couldn't process it. "But... but why would you want to?" He tilted his head like a confused puppy. "You're... you, and I'm me. I could barely understand why Desi wanted anything to do with me... but this definitely doesn't make sense."

Jack stifled a pained sound and he almost started telling Mac how amazing he was... but then he realized that he had a better shot at defeating Mac's insecurities once he knew exactly which ones he was battling. "And why not?" he asked instead, keeping his voice soft and looking into those huge blue eyes that were more confused that Jack had ever seen them. "Why doesn't it make sense?"

Mac snorted derisively, but it was directed at himself, not at Jack. "Because you're _you_ ," he said again, and when Jack just stared at him, he sighed and started ticking off points on those long, talented fingers. "You're smart in all the ways I'm not, you always know how to make people laugh, you're so fucking gorgeous it hurts to look at you sometimes - you could have anybody in the whole world. There's no way you'd want _me_ , even if it was just for sex. Although at this point I'd take just sex, as long as I could be close to you."

Jack kept staring at him, horrified by what he was hearing. "Jesus, Mac," he said quietly, swallowing hard as his heart broke, because he had always known Mac had self-esteem issues, but this... this was so much worse. "I _do_ want you, more than anything," he started, looking into his eyes and hoping Mac believed him. "I've wanted you for... for years, and not just for sex, god no." He watched Mac's eyes grow huge again and he smiled sadly. "I want all of you. Wanna know why?" Mac only blinked at him, but so far he wasn't arguing with Jack, so he would take it. "Because you're the most amazing person I've ever met." He lifted his hand and started ticking off points, just like Mac had. "You're so incredibly smart, you're _stunning_ , and you're funny when you let yourself be. If anyone could have anybody in the whole world, it would be you."

"You..." Mac's voice cracked, his eyebrows drawing down. He blinked and those tears suspended in his eyes fell, streaking down his flushed cheeks. "You... do you mean that?"

"Of course I do," Jack whispered, cautiously raising his other hand to touch Mac's cheek. "And no, before you ask it has nothing to do with the alcohol. I've felt this way for a long time, Mac. Since the Sandbox."

Mac seemed to lean into his touch and after a moment of hesitation, Jack wiped some of his tears with his thumb. "But you... I don't... does that mean that-"

"It means that I love you," Jack interjected, his voice coming out choked up, he couldn't help it. "And I've loved for so long that I don't know how to feel anything else, and..." He swallowed hard. "I want _you_. The way you are."

"I... I love you too," Mac said, sounding just as emotional as Jack felt - maybe more so because he was drunk. "And I want you too... you don't scare me, Jack, you never have." Then he took a shaking step forward and closed the distance between them, pressing his lips to Jack's in a clumsy, slightly off-center kiss.

Jack made a sound in the back of his throat and he wrapped his arms around Mac's waist, hugging him close. Mac tasted like tequila and he was barely standing, but it was without a doubt the best kiss of Jack's life, their lips slowly parting and pressing together again. Somehow, even though he was drunk, Mac had managed to pick up something that terrified Jack, the idea of scaring him away like he had with Diane, and he was barely holding himself together because of that.

Mac's arms went around his neck, and somewhere along the way the bottle of tequila got put on the nightstand as he backed up toward the bed. Jack went with him more than willingly, licking over Mac's bottom lip and reveling in the soft moan he let out when their tongues slid together. They fell on the mattress and the squeak of the springs was what brought Jack back to reality.

He pulled away, reaching up a hand to comb Mac's hair back from his face. "Mac... this is incredible, I never thought it would happen... but you're pretty hammered, dude. Maybe we should order some food and get some of the liquor out of your system before we do anything else."

Mac blinked up at him a few times, clearly trying to get his brain to cooperate with him. After a moment a vulnerable look flashed on his face and his hands were shaking when he raised them to put them on Jack neck, thumbs rubbing over his beard. "You... you won't disappear?" he asked in a tiny voice. "This won't turn out or be a... a hallucination, or a drunken dream?"

Jack's heart felt like it was breaking again, just like it had earlier when Mac had talked about himself so negatively. "I promise I'll be right here," he said, turning his head enough to kiss Mac's palm. "Now, how about some tacos?"

Mac exhaled shakily and nodded, moving his hands away. Jack gave him a smile and leaned down to kiss his cheek before he got up to order room service. His head was still kind of spinning and a part of him was nervous about Mac saying all of those things because he was drunk... but he knew that being drunk only made him more honest. Tequila hadn't made him fall for Jack, or at least he hoped so.

"Desi figured out I had feelings for you," Mac said quietly once Jack placed the order, and he almost dropped the phone in shock. "When we were fighting by the pool, she... she told me you were straight and it was never gonna happen. Tried to convince me we were doing okay. Me and her, I mean."

"Huh," Jack said as he ambled back to the bed, sitting next to Mac against the headboard. "Well, I'm not straight, I'm bi. And that almost sounds like she was trying to convince herself of something too."

"That's what I thought," Mac said, rubbing at his forehead. Now that he had stopped drinking, he was probably feeling the effects of the tequila. "But I don't get it... does she have feelings for someone else too? Someone she thinks is straight?"

"I don't know, darlin'," Jack replied, the endearment slipping out on its own. "Maybe it happened way in the past? Or maybe she had a crush on someone, but then pushed it back once you got together?" he suggested. "Because I’m pretty sure she loves you, or close enough, otherwise she wouldn't be so heartbroken." He paused, but then decided to continue. "Because she is, I could see that after you left."

Mac sighed and slumped down, resting his head against Jack's shoulder. "I did the same thing," he murmured, fingers twitching when Jack put his hand over Mac's. "Pushed my feelings for you back, I mean." He frowned. "Well if it's somebody she thinks is _straight_ , it can't be Russ or Bozer." His eyes got huge. "You don't think she's in love with Matty, do you?"

"Nah," Jack immediately said, turning his head to kiss Mac's forehead. "Speaking of, looks like Matty might have a... thing with your old man," he added, grinning when Mac whined. "And with Desi... I guess that leaves Riley?" he said, his eyes also widening. "Unless we're wrong and she was talking about a crush she had before she came to work with you."

"Could be," Mac mumbled, snuggling against Jack's side and letting out a pleased sigh when Jack wrapped his arm around his shoulders. "We're not gonna find out any time soon."

"Probably not," Jack agreed, pulling Mac closer. "She's... gonna need some time. Don't think she's gonna move on as quickly as you did."

"This doesn't feel like moving on," Mac said, his voice unusually soft and placid, nose pressed into the side of Jack's neck. He inhaled deeply, and while Jack thought he probably smelled like body odor and dirt, Mac didn't seem to mind. "It feels like... like we should've been like this from the start. I never would've said anything to you back then, though... I was too scared of losing you."

Jack closed his eyes and held Mac a little tighter, stroking one hand up and down Mac's side. The touch made Mac sigh again and press himself impossibly closer. "I was scared too," Jack admitted quietly. "I... I never thought there would be a chance for me to be with you like that. Never thought you'd be interested in an old man like me." He sighed. "So even though it was creepy... I just loved you from afar."

Mac lifted his head to look at Jack, brows furrowed in an adorable look of confusion. "What? Why... you're not an old man, Jack."

"Compared to you I am," Jack pointed out, brushing a kiss against Mac's forehead. "Riley's only a couple years younger than you and I think of her like a daughter, Mac. And as much as I tried to love you platonically... it just didn't take. I'd catch myself daydreaming about your smile, or your hands... and then I'd feel even worse."

"Well, I don't think you're a creep," Mac said, snuggling close again. "And our age difference doesn't bother me, it never even crossed my mind." He slid his arm across Jack's middle and squeezes. "I don't want you to feel bad about this anymore," he murmured, and then Jack felt him smile against his neck. "So is my smile... and hands the only thing you daydreamed about?"

Jack's eyes widened, his cheeks burning, because the meaning behind this question was quite obvious... and then he realized that since Mac was so open with him, it was only fair he did the same. "Uhm... not really," he said, clearing his throat. "Actually, I have a confession to make... about this morning."

Mac's mouth pressed against Jack's jaw, lips moving on his stubble. "Oh yeah? What did _you_ do this morning?" His hand dropped a little lower to squeeze at Jack's hip. "Because _I_ woke up hard and had to go into the shower and jerk off." His fingertips creeped under the waistband of Jack's jeans. "I imagined I was with you, obviously."

Jack tried to stifle a moan, but he didn't entirely succeed, because while he had _known_ what Mac had done in the shower... he hadn't known then that Mac had been thinking about _him._ "Well, what you don't know... is that I woke up first," Jack said, his voice somehow steady. "And I felt you... against my hip. I didn't know what to do, so I pretended to be asleep until you got up." Mac's fingers were teasingly rubbing the skin on his hip, and Jack was about to go crazy. His cheeks were burning, but since he had brought the subject up, he needed to keep going. "Feeling you... got _me_ hard and I ran to the bathroom once you left... and I saw your come on the wall."

"Mhmm, yeah, I need to replace that shower head," Mac commented, his voice gone low and raspy in a way that Jack had never heard before. "Never sprays as wide as it should." What he was saying should have been the furthest thing from sexy and yet Jack found himself enraptured, mostly because he couldn't believe Mac was talking to _him_ like this. "So you thought about me while you were in the shower?" Mac's fingers were tracing different shapes against his skin, his mouth close to Jack's ear now. "What did I do in your fantasy?"

He knew Mac was drunk and he should have pulled the plug, but... they were just talking and there was no harm in talking, right? "You... you were sucking my cock," Jack whispered, feeling even hotter than before. "You were on your knees and you were looking up at me with those blue eyes of yours... holding my gaze even when I started fucking your throat." His cock twitched in interest which was not surprising, but also the timing kind of sucked. "And then I imagined fucking you... right there in the shower. From behind, against the wall."

Mac _shudders_ against him when he heard that, a full-body thing that left him holding Jack tighter. "That sounds... amazing," he whispered back, slinging a leg over both of Jack's and crawling into his lap. He pushed his hair out of his face, those pretty blue eyes practically black with lust. His arms snaked around Jack's neck, and he leaned in like he was sharing a secret. "You could absolutely do that, you know. Both of those things. I'd let you... I'd _want_ you to."

Jack swallowed hard, his hand resting on Mac's hips kind of automatically. Mac was warm and heavy in his lap, and oh so tempting... and Jack was having a hard time remembering why he was resisting. "What... what about you?" he asked in a hoarse voice, gasping when Mac nipped on his earlobe. "You said you were thinking about me during _your_ shower... what were we doing?"

"You jerked me off slowly," Mac replied, and some of the confidence in his voice faltered, like he wasn't used to dirty talk. "Pushed me up against the wall and kissed me so hard I couldn't breathe. And then with your other hand..." He trailed off, shifting just a little, until Jack's half-hard cock would have been right between his ass cheeks if they hadn't been both wearing pants. "You opened me up with your fingers, let me fuck myself on them until I came."

This time Jack was unable to hold back a groan and he used his grip on Mac's hips to tug him closer. He wrapped his arms tightly around his waist, running one hand up and down his back, feeling the warmth of his skin through his shirt. "Fuck, baby," he muttered, pressing his lips to Mac's jaw and lingering there for a moment, trying to get himself together. "You're drunk, I... I don't wanna take advantage of you."

"You'd never do that," Mac murmured, total confidence in his voice... and Jack was suddenly reminded of what he had said earlier, about never being afraid of Jack. Before either of them could say anything else, there was a knock at the door - room service, no doubt. Mac's eyes we t wide and he glanced at the door before he grinned and whispered conspiratorially, " _Tacos._ "

Jack let out a startled laugh and leaned in to kiss Mac's cheek because he was just too damn pretty and adorable. He gently slid Mac off his lap and got up, ignoring Mac's whine, and he opened the door. He got the food from the hotel employee on the other side and thanked him before closing and locking the door. When he got back to the bed he laughed again because Mac was sitting up on the mattress looking like an excited golden retriever puppy, and Jack was sure that if he had had a tail, he would have been wagging it like crazy.

"I'm starving," Mac said, staring at the tacos before he frowned and looked around. "Wait, where's my tequila?"

"You don't need any more tequila," Jack said, putting the food down and grabbing the mostly empty bottle off the nightstand. He put the cap on it before sticking it into his bag. "Besides, I got us Mexican Cokes - you know, the good ones with the real sugar? You love those."

"I do," Mac agreed, but he started pouting, and Jack had never seen anything more adorable. Once he saw Jack wasn't giving him the bottle back, he huffed and grabbed the coke instead. "Oh fine," he grumbled. "Come on, gimme food."

Jack split up the tacos and all the other things he had ordered. They dug in and he groaned as soon as all the flavors hit his tongue. "Damn, this is good," he said around a mouthful of beef and corn tortilla. "Nothing like authentic Mexican." He caught Mac staring at him and raised an eyebrow. "You good?"

"Yeah, sure," Mac said before a slow grin spread on his face. "I'm just planning how I'm going to make you groan like this again later." Jack choked on a piece of beef and stared at Mac with wide eyes, coughing and trying to breathe. "Maybe you'll even groan louder," Mac commented causally. "Hopefully I'm better than tacos."

"Oh my god," Jack said, not in protest, more in amazement. "I had no idea you had such a dirty mind."

"You should've," Mac said, munching on some salsa and chips. "I'm a guy, first of all, so I'm pretty much _supposed_ to have a dirty mind... but I've also spent a lot of time watching your ass. I'm really surprised you never noticed, because sometimes I wasn't subtle."

Jack continued to stare at him, his throat suddenly dry. "Well, I was busy staring at _your_ ass," he said, swallowing hard. "And don't even get me started on all those times when you were working on your grandfather's bike. All sweaty and spread out underneath it."

Mac smiled and ducked his head a little, cheeks turning pink. "Yeah? Well, what about you with your gun? Constantly pulling it out, or spinning it around on your finger? That drives me up the wall."

"Really?" Jack asked, surprised. "But... you don't like guns. Why would seeing me with one-"

"I like competence," Mac interjected, his smile growing sly. "And you're _very_ competent."

Even though they were having a... fairly normal conversation, Jack once again felt hot all over, his dick very much interested in what was happening. "You... are a menace," Jack said in a strained voice, and Mac's smile morphed into a grin.

"Am I now?" he asked, licking his fingers nonchalantly. "What are you gonna do about it?"

"Nothing until you're sober," Jack said, piling their empty plates back on the room service tray to distract himself. He put everything out in the hall, and when he turned around again Mac had a different look on his face.

"Jack, I might be drunk, but I'm not _that_ drunk," he said, tone gone serious. He reached out both hands and laced their fingers together when Jack got close enough. "And you would never hurt me."

Jack was still standing next to bed, torn inside, and Mac squeezed his hands before kneeling on the mattress and walking up on his knees until their chest were touching. "I love you," he whispered, his eyes clear even if his cheeks were still flushed. "I trust you. Isn't it enough?"

Jack swallowed hard when he heard the plaintive note in Mac's voice. "Of course it's enough, darlin'," he whispered, letting go of one of Mac's hands so he could touch his cheek with trembling fingers. "But... but I want our first time together to be special, and for you to remember everything... and maybe not feel like puking afterward. I don't want you to regret anything."

"I'd never regret anything with you," Mac said quietly. "And it would be special no matter what, but..." The look on his face softened and he smiled, maybe a little sadly. "I understand what you mean. And I'm sorry I keep throwing myself at you, I just..." He chuckled sheepishly. "You're hard to resist, especially now that I have a hard time controlling myself." He leaned in to kiss Jack's cheek. "We don't have to do anything tonight. On one condition, though - you'll cuddle with me."

Jack slid his arms around Mac and pulled him closer, kissing him on the lips. He threaded his fingers through his hair and kept his other hand in the small of his back. "I would love that," he murmured, smiling when the melancholy disappeared from Mac's expression. "Now... did you want to take a shower? Or just watch a movie or something?"

"If I shower alone, I'm afraid I'm gonna fall down," Mac said with a tiny grin. "And if you shower with me, I'm gonna climb you like a tree, so... a movie?"

Jack laughed and kissed him again. "Sure, baby," he said. "How about we change into something more comfortable?"

"That sounds good," Mac agreed, so Jack went over to their bags and grabbed them some sweatpants and t-shirts. When he turned back to the bed Mac was struggling with the buttons on his shirt, tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth in concentration, but he wasn't getting anywhere.

"Here, let me help." Jack put the clothes down and worked on the buttons himself, acutely aware of Mac's gaze on his face.

He purposefully didn't look up because he was afraid that if he did, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from kissing him and that could have led to... more. Once he unbuttoned the shirt, he slid it off Mac's shoulders, trying not to stare at his chest, and instead he handed him the t-shirt and the sweatpants. "Damn, baby," he groaned, turning away to take off his jeans and put on sweatpants. Then he took his shirt off over his head. "You're too damn gorgeous."

"I was just about to say something similar," Mac said, voice dripping with desire. The bed creaked and the next thing Jack knew, Mac's hands were skimming down his back. "And I'm having a really difficult time remembering why I shouldn't climb you like a tree. Why was that a bad idea again?"

Jack shivered under his touch and did his best to focus. "Because... you're drunk," he said, trying to keep his voice steady. "And I... I want your head to be a hundred percent clear while we're doin' this." He closed his eyes and swallowed hard, trying to ignore the fact that some of his blood was currently heading south. "Because I've... waited so long for this, I want it to be perfect."

Mac's arms slinked around Jack's waist, his lips touching his shoulder a second later. His chest was pressed against Jack's back, and he could feel how warm his lean muscles were. "But nothing is perfect," he pointed out, brushing another kiss over the back of Jack's neck, nuzzling at his hairline. "Maybe we could aim for slow instead of perfect? And maybe instead of waiting until I'm a hundred percent sober and super nervous... we could do _something_ now? Because I can tell you're just as on edge as I am."

Jack exhaled shakily, but then something registered in his brain. "Why would you be nervous?" he asked, and turned in Mac's arms, trying to catch his gaze when he looked away. "It's just me, Mac."

"Exactly," Mac murmured. "It's _you._ I've... never been with anyone I loved like I love you." When Mac glanced at him a moment later, there was this vulnerable look on his face that made Jack's heart clench. "I don't want to... disappoint you."

Jack brought his hands up to frame Mac's face, a thumb rubbing over his cheekbone. "You could never disappoint me," he whispered, a whole host of emotions making his eyes burn. "You know it's the same for me, right? Maybe not for the sex... I've been told I'm... good at that-" he winced, unsure if he sounded like he was bragging or he came off like a slut "- but for everything else. I'm terrified I'm going to disappoint you in some other way."

"That's not possible," Mac whispered. "I already know you love pineapple on pizza, there's nothing worse that you could possibly do." Jack let out a startled laugh and stared at Mac with wide eyes, his heart almost bursting with how much he loved him. "I mean it, Jack," Mac murmured. "You could never disappoint me," he repeated Jack's own words to him, and then grinned widely. "And as for you being good as sex... that's an interesting theory. I would love to test it."

"Okay, fine," Jack said, giving in to what they both clearly wanted. He moved his hands to Mac's shoulders, squeezing to get his attention. "But you need to understand something - if you wanna stop for any reason, you just say the word, okay? I don't care if I wind up taking a cold shower, I don't want you to have a migraine tomorrow."

Mac's eyes lit up like it was Christmas, but he visibly tried to contain his joy, nodding dutifully. "I mean it, Mac," Jack warned, unable to hold back a smile. "One word and we stop."

"Okay, Jack," Mac said with a huge grin, his gaze dropping to Jack's lips before he slowly looked up again, his eyes full of desire. "Kiss me?"

Jack didn't need to be asked twice, leaning in to kiss Mac slowly but passionately. He turned them around as their lips move together, so that he could sit down on the edge of the bed and drag Mac into his lap. From there it was easy to lie down, one hand tangled in Mac's hair while the other strokes down his spine, admiring the smoothness of his skin.

Mac shuddered a little on top of him and ran one hand down Jack's chest, thumb rubbing over his nipple. He smiled against Jack's lips when he groaned softly, and then his hand kept moving, fingertips skimming over his ribs and abs. Jack let himself get lost in the kiss and Mac's touch, a part of him still having trouble believing this was real... only yesterday, hell, even earlier that day he had been convinced this wouldn't have been possible, and Mac was with-

"Wait," Jack gasped, breaking the kiss as an irrational feeling spread through his chest. "I know you said you... you love me, but..." He trailed off, swallowing hard. "I'm not your rebound, right? I mean, you just broke up with Desi... you even slept with her earlier today."

Mac made a shocked sound in the back of his throat, the hand that wasn't on Jack's abs touching his cheek. "Jack... no, _no_ ," he said, pressing their foreheads together and closing his eyes. "Even if I didn't feel the way I do about you... I would _never_ do that to you." He drew back, face creased with worry... and a little hurt. "Did you really think I'd just... use you like that?"

Jack sighed, closing his eyes briefly. "No, no, I didn't, I’m sorry," he whispered, hating the hurt look on Mac's face. "I know you'd never do that, I just... that irrational thought popped up in my head and I just blurted it out." He smiled sadly. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Mac replied simply, smiling softly and leaning down for a surprisingly chaste kiss, considering his state and their positioning. "I know this must be... weird for you. But I promise, I... I don't have any romantic feelings for her. I love her like a friend, even though I doubt we're friends right now."

Jack made a sympathetic sound. "Mac, if there's one thing I know about Desi it's that she's tough as hell. I'm sure she's hurting right now, but she'll get back on her feet. And once you've both had some time to cool off and process everything, I know you can work it out."

"You've got a lot of faith in my diplomatic skills," Mac said, his hands sliding up so he could wrap his arms around Jack's neck. "I didn't want to hurt Desi, I never wanted that... there must be some way I can make it up to her." He frowned, then perked up a little. "What about a tank? I could buy her a tank."

Jack laughed because that idea was ridiculous and exactly something even a sober Mac would have come up with. "I don't think it's a good idea to get her something that she could use to blow you up with," he pointed out, smiling when Mac pouted. "Plus tanks are pretty expensive."

"That's okay," Mac said with a shrug before he leaned down to kiss Jack again. "I've got _lots_ of money."

Jack kissed him back, but made a mental note to ask Mac what he meant by that at a later time - not that Jack cared whether Mac had money or not, he was just curious. He ran his hands over Mac's shoulders and back, squeezing his waist a moment later. When Mac felt that touch his hips rocked a little... and then he broke away from Jack's mouth to yawn, slumping in his grasp.

Jack blinked in surprise, but then he chuckled softly, wrapping his arms tighter around Mac and cradling him against his chest. "Looks like we're not doin' anything tonight after all," he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of Mac's head. "Which is completely fine by the way. You tired?"

"Mhmm." Mac hummed in agreement, face pushed into Jack's neck and arms slipping around his middle. "You're so _warm,_ it's nice."

"I'm glad you think so," Jack said, unable to stop himself from smiling in the face of so much cuteness, and he pulled the covers up over both of them. "Let's hope you still think that once the AC turns off."

"I will," Mac mumbled, snuggling closer, and he completely relaxed on top of Jack, effectively pinning him down.

Jack didn't mind the extra dead weight and he smiled again, reaching out and managing to turn off the lights. "You're gonna have one hell of a hangover tomorrow, baby," he murmured, squeezing Mac lightly. "Tequila's a bitch."

"It'll be okay." Mac sounded totally sure, his long-limbed body sprawled out in the haphazard way that only the drunk could achieve. "You know how I know? Because you'll be here."

"Didn't know you were such a romantic," Jack commented... but a snore near his ear told him Mac was already asleep. Chuckling again, Jack held him close and shut his eyes, drifting off to his own dreams a moment later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment if you enjoyed it! ♥


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! 
> 
> Sorry for the small delay in updating this fic, I tend to lose track of time these days. But here’s the new chapter, I hope you like it!

When he started waking up, the pounding headache immediately reminded Mac that he had had _way_ too much fun last night and that it had most likely involved a tequila bottle. He made a soft sound in the back of his throat, wishing he could have fallen back asleep... and then he realized that he was pressed against a warm body. He instantly knew it was Jack and a second later he remembered everything that happened, including their love confessions, and he couldn't hold back a smile. He remembered falling asleep on top of Jack, so he must have slid down since he was snuggled into his side now, leg thrown over both of Jack. He shifted a little and he stifled a whimper, his eyes snapping open, because he was _hard_ and pressed against Jack's hip, just like the day before... only this time he didn't have to hide it.

"Morning, sunshine," Jack said, his voice rumbling through his chest and into Mac's ear. He sounded like he had been awake for a while... which meant he was probably aware of Mac's erection, how could he not be? "I was startin' to wonder if you'd slipped into a coma or something." One of his hands came up to card through Mac's hair, which is kind of greasy and smelled like alcohol. "Or if you were just having a good dream."

Mac pressed himself even closer to Jack's warm body, nuzzling at his bare chest and pushing his head into his touch like a cat... and he moaned softly when he ground against Jack's hip. "Morning," he mumbled, closing his eyes and tightening the arm he had around Jack's middle. "I didn't have any dreams... but I am having a really good time right now."

"Oh yeah?" Jack's hand slipped out of his hair and down his back, callouses dragging slowly against his skin. "Why's that?"

"Because I'm here with you," Mac replied, the words catching in his throat. He found himself blinking back tears suddenly and wondered if this was the hangover talking... or if he was just _happy_. "And because I... I don't have to pretend anymore. I can be myself with you, and I know... I know you don't mind."

"I really don't," Jack agreed, and Mac's heart fluttered happily. Jack's hand continued stroking up and down his back, making him shudder before resting on his lower back. "How are you feelin'? How's the hangover?" Jack asked in a low voice. "Because I was thinkin' that if you're doing okay... we could pick up where we left off last night and I could help you out with... that lovely problem of yours."

Mac felt his cheeks flush, and now that he wasn't off his ass he was actually embarrassed about how he had acted last night. "About that..." he started, waiting for Jack to hum his acknowledgement before he continued. "I... I'm sorry about how I acted, I probably... came on a little strong? No, I _definitely_ came on too strong, and you kept trying to talk me down..." He paused, eyes widening. "Wait, I didn't... you were okay with what we _did_ do, right?"

Jack chuckled, his chest vibrating under Mac's head. "Of course, baby. We didn't really do anything, you know that right?" His hand slid up, resting on his side instead. "We kissed, made out a little... nothin' below the waist," he murmured, but then he hesitated. "As long as you didn't do all that and said you loved only because... because you were drunk, then we're good, darlin'."

Mac pushed himself up on his elbow, reaching out with his other hand to touch Jack's cheek... which he remembered doing a lot the night before, fascinated with the way Jack's stubble felt under his fingers. "No, I... I meant it," he whispered, smiling when Jack did. "All of it. I love you so much, Jack... and I wish I'd had the courage to tell you sooner."

"I love you too, baby," Jack murmured, and Mac didn't think he would ever get tired of hearing that. "And... I could've said something as well, but... no point dwelling on the past, right? What matters is that we're together now... and no more secrets."

"Sounds great," Mac whispered, leaning down. "No more secrets," he repeated, and then he pressed his lips to Jack's, not caring about the morning breath.

Jack slipped his arms around him and held him tightly, rolling them over so Mac was on his back. He giggled into the kiss - _giggle_ _d_ , maybe he wasn't totally sober yet - and held on to Jack's face with both hands. Their tongues slid together and Mac moaned a little, hooking a leg around Jack's waist. He was getting hard too, Mac felt it through the layers of their sweatpants, and he couldn't wait to get his hands on Jack's cock.

He wondered if it was as big as he had always imagined, but he forced himself to focus. Jack's lips felt amazing against his, the kiss slow but passionate, and after a moment Mac slid his hands of Jack's face and wrapped his arms around him. He started exploring his back with his fingertips, pressing them against some of his scars and loving how it made Jack moan into his mouth. He spread his legs so that Jack could settle between them comfortably and they both groaned when Jack rolled his hips down, grinding their cock together through their sweatpants.

"What do you want, baby?" Jack murmured against his lips. "I don’t really wanna talk about Desi right now, but during your fight I heard you say you wanted to slow down sometimes... so I need you to tell me what exactly you want."

"Slow would be... nice," Mac admitted, smiling when Jack arched into his hands against his back in his own display of cat-like behavior. "And whenever I thought about this, I usually pictured me bottoming... mostly because I thought if you were into guys, you were probably a top."

"Usually," Jack mumbled as he mouthed over his jaw. "But I don't have to be... not if you want to fuck me."

Mac's breath hitched and his eyes widened as he stared at the ceiling. "R-really?" he asked, his voice cracking. "You'd be... you'd let me do that?"

"Absolutely," Jack murmured, and Mac gasped when he nipped on his pulse point. "To be honest, there ain't anything I wouldn't let you do to me... and I'd be lyin' if I said I never imagined you fucking me."

Mac thought about it for a moment, turning the options over in his mind. "As appealing as the idea of fucking you is... could we maybe save that for another time?" he asked, swallowing hard when Jack drew back to look at him. "I... I think I'd like our first time to be the other way around, if that's okay with you."

"It's _definitely_ okay with me, baby," Jack basically purred, biting on Mac's throat a little harder, making him shiver and gasp. One of his hands slid up into his hair, tangling in it and tugging lightly, and Jack smiled against his neck when it made Mac moan. He moved his lips to Mac's birthmark near his jaw, the one he had always been a little self-conscious about, and he started sucking on it, tugging on Mac's hair again.

His mouth on Mac's skin was a totally different experience from Desi's - not only was Jack's jaw sharper, but he wasn't shy about using his teeth. Each pull on Mac's hair sent a zing of arousal straight to his cock, and he whined at the loss when Jack removed his hand from his hair so he could slide further down his body. His lips skimmed over Mac's neck to his collarbone, biting down lightly while one of his hands came up to tease at a nipple.

"You're so beautiful," Jack murmured, his other hand squeezing Mac's hip. "I don't know if that's weird to say because you're a guy, but you are."

"I... I don't mind," Mac breathed out, gasping when Jack's thumb rubbed over his nipple. "I may not agree, but... I don't mind hearing it."

That made Jack look up and he moved back to Mac's lips, kissing him breathless. "You're the prettiest damn thing I've ever seen," he murmured, and Mac felt his cheeks burn. "I can't believe I get to be with you like this."

Mac stared at him for a moment and saw nothing but sincerity and affection in Jack's handsome face. "You... you really mean that."

"Of course I do, darlin'," Jack said, cupping his jaw with his hand and stroking a thumb over his cheekbone.

"You..." Mac started, hands slipping to Jack's waistband, toying with the fabric. "You can call me Angus. If you want to."

Jack's eyes got huge, his jaw literally dropping, and Mac would have thought it was funny if it hadn't been for the circumstances. "You... really?" Jack asked softly. "But I know you don't like being called by your name."

"By most people, yes," Mac said, smiling a little. "The ones that use it to make fun of me or annoy me... but you're different. I love you and... I wanna share this with you."

"If you're sure," Jack said hesitantly, and when Mac nodded he leaned in to kiss him, soft and sweet. "Okay... Angus."

"See? That wasn't so hard," Mac said, then wiggled his eyebrows in his best impression of Jack. "But I can think of a couple of things that definitely _are_ hard, and you should get back to doing something about that."

Jack blinked at him and then grinned wolfishly, and that expression was enough to make Mac's cock twitch. "Oh, I'm definitely planning on doin' _something_ with that," he murmured, and attached his lips to Mac's collarbone again while his hand slid down his abs until it reached his waistband. He started sucking a bruise into his skin at the same time his hand slipped into his sweatpants, fingers wrapping around Mac's cock.

" _Oh_ ," fell from Mac's lips, a moan following it as his hips twitched into Jack's grip. His touch was just rough enough, just tight enough to drive Mac wild, and his hands dropped to either side of his hips to hang on to the sheets. He couldn't believe a handjob felt this incredible, and he was afraid he might not make it to the main event. "Jack... oh god, that's so good."

"Oh yeah?" Jack murmured, stroking him slowly and sliding a bit lower to suck on his nipple. Mac cried out sharply and arched off the mattress, whimpering when Jack's teeth scraped over the sensitive spot. "Wouldn't want you to feel too good, baby," Jack said, lifting his head and flashing that wolfish grin at Mac again. "Do you, by any chance, have lube in your bag?"

Mac squeezed his eyes shut and forced himself to think, but it was hard - pun intended - with Jack's fingers wrapped around his cock. "Y-yeah, I should have it," he stuttered out, but then his eyes widened. "I don't... have condoms though, I left them on the bed after..." He trailed off and cleared his throat. "I doubt anyone put them back."

"S'okay, I have some," Jack said, leaning in to kiss his cheek. He slipped his hand out of Mac's pants and headed over to where their bags were. He dug around for a moment and pulled the lube from Mac's bag and a strip of condoms from his own, then returned to the bed. He set the items aside and hooked his fingers in Mac's sweatpants, tugging suggestively. "You wanna get rid of these?"

" _Please_ ," Mac said, too turned to be embarrassed by how eager he sounded. Jack grinned and slowly pulled his sweatpants down, clearly taking his time to drive Mac completely insane, and he laughed when Mac whined impatiently and kicked his pants down. He leaned over Mac to kiss him and he didn't protest when Mac started tugging his sweatpants down, and a moment later they were both finally naked. Mac moaned loudly when Jack's hot, firm body pinned him down, their cocks brushing together.

"So..." he murmured, wrapping his arms around Jack's neck. "Why do you have condoms?" he asked with a grin. "Or have they been in your bag for the last two years?"

To Mac's surprise, the happy look on Jack's face dimmed slightly. "They haven't been there for two years, no," he said quietly... and there was a tinge of shame to the words. "I, uh... had to do some things I ain't proud of to get the intelligence that led us to Kovacs." Worry lines creased his forehead. "If you... if you change your mind because of that, I... I'll understand."

Mac immediately shook his head and pulled Jack down for another kiss, soft and sweet this time. "I'm not changing my mind," he whispered, his heart clenching. "Does it bother me you had to sleep with people to get intel? Of course... but not in the way you think," he quickly added when the look on Jack's face fell. "It bothers me because you're beating yourself up over this and I hate to see you in pain."

Jack looked at him and smiled, relief and warmth in those whiskey-dark eyes. "You're amazing," he murmured, leaning in for a kiss of his own. "I love you so damn much, Angus."

"I love you too, Jack," Mac said softly, one hand squeezing the back of his neck, the other one slipping down to rest on his ass. "You mean the world to me... and I would never judge you for something like that."

"Most people would," Jack whispered, his voice cracking a little, and Mac used the hand he had in the back of his neck to pull him down and nuzzle his cheek.

"I'm not most people," he murmured, smiling when Jack kissed him again, harder this time. The kiss grew passionate quickly and Mac got lost in how good it felt, and how Jack's body was pinning him down _perfectly_. He squeezed one of Jack's ass cheeks, smiling when he groaned into his mouth, and the his slid his hand around to test his theory. "Fuck, you're just as big as I imagined," he breathed out, his fingers wrapping around Jack's hard cock. "Can't wait to have you inside me."

Jack shuddered above him, a broken sound escaping his throat as his hips rocked into Mac's hand. "Shit, baby, those fingers of yours are something else," he whispered, hands scrambling to grab the lube. He got some on his own fingers and trailed them down to Mac's entrance, circling his hole with his index finger before slowly starting to push it inside.

Mac gasped and let go of Jack's cock, because squeezing it too hard would have definitely been a bad idea. Instead he wrapped his arms around Jack's shoulders, fingernails digging into his back as he hugged him as close as possible. He moaned softly when Jack started moving that one finger in and out while mouthing at Mac's jaw, nipping lightly on his skin.

It was good, better than it had ever been in his fantasies or with anyone else. He drew his legs up to give Jack better access and sighed when then made Jack's finger sink in deeper. After a moment of stretching he added a second one and Mac cried out when they touched his prostate, back arching into the pleasure that sparked up his spine.

"God, baby, look at you," Jack murmured, his voice reverent, even though in Mac's opinion he was just a sweaty, flushed mess.

"Jack," he moaned when Jack's fingers brushed over his prostate again, and his hips twitched as he tried to find more of this amazing friction. Jack made a soft sound of his own and then he started moving his fingers steadily in and out of Mac, fucking him with them, and the next time they found his prostate... he left them there, pressed against that spot.

Mac sucked in a ragged breath and clamped his hands around Jack's impressive biceps, squeezing hard. "Jack, _fuck_ , oh," he moaned out, and if there was anybody in the rooms around them there was little doubt about what they were doing. He trembled as his eyes rolled back in his head when Jack only increased the pressure, cock spurting precome over his stomach. "J-Jack, _please_."

"Mhmm, please what, darlin'?" Jack murmured, his Texas accent even more audible than usually. Mac whined in response because he should have known Jack would be a tease, and he exhaled shakily when Jack pulled his fingers back a little.

"M-more, Jack, please," he begged, too far gone to care about how needy he sounded. He felt Jack grin against his skin and then Mac cried out when Jack added a third finger and started rapidly pushing them in and out.

"I wish you could see yourself," Jack said, moving his mouth up to his ear and nipping at the lobe. "You're so gorgeous, all flushed and spread out for me. I can't wait to watch you fall apart." He scissored his fingers apart and scraped his teeth against his jaw. "You good, baby?"

"I think s-so," Mac stuttered out, and he whimpered when Jack pulled his fingers out and reached for the condoms. "You don't have to wear one if you don't want to. I'm clean."

Jack froze, the strip of condoms hanging in his hand, and he stared at Mac in shock. "You... sure?" he asked quietly, something vulnerable shining in his huge eyes. "I... had a physical right before I bailed on the hunt, so I'm clean too, but..." He trailed off and swallowed hard. "I'd understand if-"

"Jack," Mac interjected gently, sliding both hands up to grip his face. "I trust you. If wearing makes you feel better then go for it, but... you don't have to. I mean it."

"Okay," Jack whispered, setting the condoms aside and picking up the lube. He turned his head enough to kiss one of Mac's palms. "I don't know what I did to earn this much trust from you, but I don't feel like I deserve it."

"You do," Mac assured, wrapping his arms around his neck and smiling. "Now get inside me already. I said slow, not glacial."

Jack barked out a startled laugh and kissed Mac's cheek. "You always this bossy in bed?" he asked while slicking himself up with lube.

"Only with you," Mac said with a grin, and that was true, he had never been the bossy one when in bed with Desi. He also couldn't remember the last time he had laughed and smiled so much, during sex, yes, but also in general. Jack settled between his spread legs and lined himself up, and Mac shivered in anticipation when he felt the head of Jack's big cock press against his entrance. He gasped when Jack started slowly pushing in and he gripped his biceps again, his breaths coming out in quick puffs as he stared at the ceiling with wide eyes.

"Breathe, baby," Jack said near his ear, nuzzling at his skin and sliding an arm underneath his back to hold him close. "Relax." Mac deliberately took in a deep breath through his nose and let it out slowly, muscles loosening as inch after inch of Jack's cock invaded his body. Soon their hips were flush together and they were both struggling for control, Mac could feel it in the way Jack's arms and back tensed under his touch. His face was buried in Mac's neck, and when he spoke again his voice was a little muffled: "You feel so good, Angus. Fuck."

Mac pressed a sloppy kiss to Jack's temple and wrapped his arms tightly around his back, needing to have Jack as close as possible. "You... you can move," he whispered after a moment, hooking one leg over Jack's hips. "Please, Jack."

Jack groaned in response and pushed his other arm between his back and the mattress as well. One hand gripped the back of Mac's neck and the other slid to his ass, and then Jack drew his hips back and pushed back slowly. It felt absolutely amazing, better than anything Mac had ever imagined, and he moaned softly when Jack set up a slow, steady pace.

Everything about this moment was... perfect, Mac realized. Maybe not in the way he or Jack had envisioned last night, but it was incredible. The way the morning sunlight slipped through the curtains in their hotel room, every gasp and rough exhalation from Jack, how they fitted so neatly together like the pieces of a puzzle. Mac moaned when Jack's next thrust grazed his prostate, a drawn-out drag that left him shuddering and clutching Jack as close as he could.

He wrapped his other leg around Jack as well and they were completely tangled together now and connected in the best way. Mac used his legs around Jack to push up whenever he thrusted into him, and soon they were moving in tandem, completely in sync just like in the field, and it felt... perfect. Perfect and incredible in a way Mac had never felt with anyone else and that realization made his eyes fill with happy tears.

They spilled down his cheeks without warning, and Jack must have felt the wetness against the side of his head because his thrusts slowed. He pulled back and stared at him, brows drawn down in worry. He stopped moving and brought a hand up to touch Mac's face, thumbing the wetness away. "Angus? What's wrong, baby? Did I do something wrong?"

"No, no, not at all," Mac said, shaking his head and chuckling wetly. Jack was still looking down at him worriedly, so Mac smiled at him and slid his hands to frame his face. "I just... last night you said you wanted our first time together to be perfect and I told you that nothing's perfect." He sniffled rubs his thumbs over Jack's cheekbones. "I was wrong. I was wrong because this... this is perfect. And I'm just... so _happy_."

Jack's whole body relaxed and he leaned in to kiss Mac on the lips. "I'm happy too," he murmured, fingers combing through Mac's hair. "So fucking happy. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Angus... and I never thought I'd get to tell you that." They kissed again, slow but passionate, and then Jack's hips started moving, both of them moaning at the sensations flowing through their bodies.

They tried to keep kissing but they were mostly panting into each other's mouths, so after a moment Jack pulled away and buried his face in Mac's neck. While he kept the pace slow, his thrusts started getting harder and deeper, and Mac cried out when Jack found his prostate and stilled, grinding the head of his cock into the spot. "Jack, oh god, _Jack_ ," Mac almost sobbed in pleasure, gasping when after a moment Jack drew his hips back and started fucking him again. It was... sensual in a way Mac hadn't thought was possible, their sweaty bodies moving together smoothly, like they had been doing this forever. Jack's hand tightened on the back of his neck and his other hand slid to the top of his ass again, pushing and pressing them even closer together, and Mac let out a broken cry when Jack slammed into him even harder, growling against his neck.

Mac didn't even realize he was getting close until his orgasm was nearly on top of him, and then he started clawing at Jack's back. "Oh god, I'm so- I'm gonna-"

"Then let go, Angus," Jack panted against his ear, sounding just as wrecked as Mac felt. "Come for me, baby." And Mac did, his body going taut like a bowstring as his release rushed through him in a wave of delicious heat. He cried out with it, holding Jack as close as he could as he painted both their stomachs with his come.

Jack moaned brokenly when Mac clenched around him and he whined, his hips stuttering. He tightened his arms around Mac, his breath hot and damp on his neck, and he thrusted erratically into him a few times more before he came with a muffled shout, biting down on Mac's collarbone. His hips kept moving as he pumped his come into him and Mac groaned softly when he felt that sticky warmth fill him up. Eventually Jack slowed down and stilled, collapsing on top of Mac and pinning him down to the mattress, his soft cock still buried deep inside him.

They didn't talk for a moment, too breathless and sated to think clearly. Mac's legs fell to the mattress, but he kept his arms wrapped tightly around Jack's shoulders, not wanting him to move an inch. "That... was the best sex I've ever had," he declared, staring at the ceiling with wide eyes, face damp with tears and sweat. "We need to do that, like... a million more times."

Jack chuckled quietly and pressed a kiss to Mac's collarbone before lifting his head. "Oh yeah? That good?" he asked with a grin, leaning down to kiss Mac's jaw. "That sure as hell makes me feel very good about myself." He kissed his way to Mac's lips, smiling against his mouth. "And I'm definitely up for a repeat... although not right now, clearly," he added teasingly, gently moving his hips forward.

Mac moaned softly, eyelashes fluttering as overstimulation wracked his nerves. "Mhmm, that feels good," he mumbled, kissing Jack again. "Shower?"

"Yeah, that's probably a solid idea," Jack agreed, shifting enough to pull out slowly, Mac's cheeks flushing when he felt come leaking out of him. "Can you walk, or do you want me to carry you?"

"I'm pretty sure I can... but I'm tempted to say I can't," Mac said teasingly, smiling widely when Jack laughed. He rolled off him and stood up, and Mac was actually planning to walk, he was only joking, so it caught him off guard when Jack grabbed him by his legs and tugged him to the edge of the mattress. He yelped in surprise when Jack bent down and picked him up, lifting him effortlessly, laughing again when Mac wrapped his legs around him and clung to him.

They made their way to the bathroom, which was super clean by hotel standards, and Jack set him down on his feet once they reached the shower. He got warm water on the first try and Mac couldn't help the obscene noise he made when it hit his muscles - he had no idea how tense he had been since they had found his dad.

"Keep making sounds like that and I'll be ready to go again in no time," Jack commented, wrapping his arms around him from behind and kissing the soft skin behind his ear. "You're too damn tempting."

"Mhmm, and would that be so bad?" Mac asked, relaxing completely in Jack's arms and tilting his head back to rest it on his shoulder, moaning softly when Jack pressed a kiss to his neck. "Also, you're one to talk, I have no idea how I'm gonna keep my hands off you now."

He felt Jack smile against his neck. "As much as I would love to roll around in bed with you all day..." he started, nipping on the skin below Mac's jaw before pulling away. "I'm sure you would love to visit your dad today. Also, we have to check out... unless you wanna stay here longer instead of goin' back to the mansion."

Mac sighed, because as much as he would have loved to stay in his own little world with Jack... he knew that wasn't the right thing to do. "We can check out, it's fine," he said, lacing his fingers together on top of Jack's where they were resting on his stomach. "And then drop the bags off at the mansion and go see my dad. I'm going to have to face Desi sooner or later... might as well be sooner."

"Okay, baby," Jack murmured, kissing Mac's temple. "Whatever you want."

Mac closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the warmth of both the water and Jack's body for a moment, and then he turned in Jack's arms. He gave him a short, sweet kiss, and then they started showering for real. It was domestic and... easy, in a way it had never been with Desi - they had rarely showered together and if they had, they had always had sex, but with Jack it was different. Mac grinned when Jack poured some shampoo into his hair, groaning in approval when he started massaging his scalp, pushing into Jack's touch and not caring he was acting like a cat.

"Hey, baby?" Jack asked after a moment, and Mac hummed to show he was listening. "Are we... tellin' everyone about _us_ right away or do you wanna keep it on the down-low?"

Mac hadn't thought about that yet, but now he realized there were implications to either choice. "I don't know," he said, bending his head forward to rinse his hair and making a noise of surprise when Jack added conditioner next. He hadn't realized he was getting the full spa treatment. "On the one hand I want to tell them because... well, they're our family. But on the other hand... I don't want to hurt Desi's feelings any more than I already have."

"Yeah, she... probably wouldn't take it well," Jack said, wincing a little. "Like I told you, she was... really upset once you left."

Mac sighed, his heart heavy with guilt. "I know," he whispered. "I never wanted it to end like this... and I probably should've picked a better moment to end it."

"Yeah, you kinda fucked up here, baby," Jack agreed, and Mac snorted quietly. "You did. But what's done is done, and... you need to give her time to get over you. I think she really loved you. Still does, probably, you don't fall out of love in one day."

"Okay, so... maybe we keep it toned down around the others for now?" Mac suggested, and when Jack nodded he reached for the knob and turned off the shower. "That's gonna make having sex in the mansion difficult."

"We'll just have to find a way to keep quiet," Jack said with a wink as they both dried off and headed back out into the room. "Shouldn't be too hard."

"Mhmm, right," Mac said dubiously, remembering how loud he was just now when they were having sex and knowing it wasn't going to be easy. "You can always gag me." He smirked when Jack choked and he waited until he stopped coughing to ask, "What?"

Jack looked at him for a moment before shaking his head with a smile. "You're impossible," he muttered, stepping closer and kissing Mac's cheek. "And I love you."

Mac stopped packing his bag for a moment to grin at Jack and got rewarded with another kiss, this time on his lips. "I love you too."

Once they were sure they had everything they left the room to check out, and Mac squinted when he stepped into the bright Tijuana sunshine. It was a short walk to the mansion, and since the gate was closed Mac presumed everybody was either visiting his dad or exploring the city. He punched in the code Russ had yesterday and the gate swung open. He felt Jack's eyes on him and shrugged a little. "What? My memory isn't photographic, but it's pretty good."

"I missed watching you be all smart and nerdy," Jack commented, and Mac couldn't help the way his cheeks flushed. He stuck his tongue at Jack and once they stepped through the front door he knew his suspicions were correct - the mansion was empty. "Okay, no one's home," Jack commented, looking around. "Still wanna head to the hospital?"

"Yeah," Mac said with a nod. "Russ said there are seven bedrooms here..." He did quick math in his head. "Which leaves one for you and one for me." He raised his eyebrow. "I guess we should put our bags in separate rooms... and we'll have to figure out how to sneak around?"

"If anybody can sneak around, it's yours truly, ba- dude," Jack said, changing words before the endearment could slip out. His face screwed up in a frown. "This might be harder than I thought."

"We'll figure it out," Mac assured, projecting confidence he didn't actually feel. They put their bags in the available rooms and headed out again, walking over to the hospital. "Breakfast first, or after I see my dad?"

"I'm kinda starving, so let's grab something to eat," Jack said, and after looking around they spotted a place that looked like it served breakfast. They ordered some food and black coffees and while they were waiting, Mac had to try very hard not to reach for Jack's hand or hook their feet together under the table.

Not only would that be a bad idea if they happened to run into anyone they knew, it was also not the greatest idea for same-sex couples to do PDA in Mexico. He sipped his coffee when it came and kept both hands around the mug to distract himself, despite the fact that it emphasized how long and knobby his fingers were. "So I know we've been to Mexico a bunch of times, each one worse than the last," he said, smiling when Jack laughed, eyes crinkling behind his sunglasses. "But have you ever been to Tijuana before?"

"Only in passing, back in my CIA days," Jack replied, lowering his voice when he mentioned his previous job. "Not exactly a fond memory since I was bein' chased by not one, but _two_ drug cartels that were rivals and each wanted to find me before the other did."

"Oh wow," Mac said, raising his eyebrows. "You must've really pissed them off. Any chance someone here could recognize you?"

"Nope," Jack replied with a grin. "They're either locked up or dead."

"Good, because I don't want to have to blow up a bunch of cartel guys," Mac told him, right before their food came. They dug into their huevos rancheros and Mac had to hold back a groan, it was that good. "Hey, you kept the other half of that tequila, right? Maybe we can get another bottle and make margaritas for everybody later."

Jack gave him a look. "The other _half?_ " he asked, raising one eyebrow. "Dude, you drank much more, I think there's about one quarter left or somethin'."

Mac winced because now that he thought about, he did remember drinking... a lot. "Okay, fine," he mumbled. "If we get another one it should still be enough."

"True," Jack agreed before grinning widely. "If we get everyone drunk enough, they're gonna sleep like babies... and it'll be easier for us to have some naked fun."

"I wasn't thinking of it like that, but... it's not a bad idea," Mac mused, smiling soon afterward. "I like that you qualified it as naked fun, like I wouldn't know what you were talking about otherwise."

"Hey, after talking to drunk you last night you gotta give me some credit," Jack protested, pointing his fork in Mac's direction. "Your brain works in mysterious ways normally, and alcohol doesn't make that any easier to keep up with." He paused. "You said something last night that kinda surprised me - you know, besides the love confession. About money?"

Mac frowned and tilted his head, trying to remember, but he couldn't recall what Jack was talking about. "You were talkin' about buying Desi a tank," Jack clarified, seeing his confusion. "And among other things, I pointed out that those are expensive... and you said you had money. Lots of it."

Mac's eyes widened and now he did remember his conversation. "Right," he muttered, before giving Jack a sheepish smile. "I... do have money? You know I invented a few things and all those patents... they kinda made me rich. Plus my grandfather also left me money that I never got to spend."

"Okay, that makes more sense," Jack said, and he sounded... totally unfased. "Why did you feel the need to tell me about it, though?"

"I'm... not sure," Mac replied, frowning a little. "Does it... change anything?"

"What?" Jack frowned too, and he shouldn't have looked that hot with that expression on his face. "Why would it? I don't care how much money you have, Mac. Stuff like that doesn't matter to me."

Deep down Mac had known that, but it was still nice to hear it out loud. "Okay, that's... that's great," he said softly, smiling when Jack did. After a moment Jack glanced around and gently tapped Mac's foot with his own. It was a small gesture, but it made Mac smile even wider, and he couldn't help but think that this... this was what he had always wanted and he couldn't believe he actually got to have it.

They were pretty much done eating and they asked for a check, and much to Mac's dismay Jack snatched it before he could and paid. "Hey!" he protested, and pouted when Jack grinned. "We just established I'm rich, I can pay!" He smirked a little. "I could be your sugar daddy."

Jack rolled his eyes. "Don't you think I'm a little old for that?"

"Not old enough to not know what a sugar daddy is," Mac pointed out, snickering when Jack mimed throwing his credit card at him. "I mean people might expect _you_ to be _my_ sugar daddy, but still."

They left the restaurant and headed over to the hospital, taking the elevator up to James's floor. Mac would have been lying to himself if he said he wasn't nervous - were the others going to be here? Was his dad even going to be up for a visit?

"Hey," Jack murmured, reaching out to squeeze his wrist since they were alone in the elevator. "It's gonna be okay. Everyone is probably worried about you after last night... and I'm sure Desi won't try to fight with you in the hospital, if she's even here."

Mac took a deep breath, hoping Jack was right, and he immediately missed his touch when the elevator door opened. They got out and headed in the direction of his dad's room... and they ran into Russ and Matty. "Hey, Blondie," Matty said, giving him a smile. "How's your head? Bozer told us you were... quite wasted last night."

"I'm good, thanks," Mac replied, smiling back at the two of them. "Nothing a little hangover breakfast couldn't fix." He sighed. "I'm sorry you guys had to watch me and Desi go nuclear... again."

"Don't worry about it, Angus," Russ said, clapping him on the shoulder. "We've all got... stuff, and family's not supposed to judge. Or at least that's what everyone here keeps telling me."

"Because it's true, Taylor," Matty said, glaring at Russ a little and then shifting her gaze to Jack who was chuckling quietly. "And what are you so happy about, Dalton?"

"Nothin', ma'am," Jack assured, still grinning widely, and Mac rolled his eyes.

"I'm gonna see my dad," he told Matty and Russ, and then looked at Jack. "You coming?"

In that moment Riley showed up in the hallway, smiling when she saw them. "I'll be right with you, I'm just gonna say hi to Riles," Jack said, and Mac nodded, heading in the direction of his dad's room. The door was half closed and he was about to push it open... when he heard a voice coming from the inside, a female voice... and Mac's eyes widened when he realized it was Desi.

He halted right outside the door, peering in through the gap. She was sitting in a chair next to James's bed, her forearms resting against her thighs and her shoulders slumped. His dad was fast asleep, no doubt drugged to keep the pain from his burns and the cancer at bay. "I just don't know what I did wrong," Desi said, clearly in the middle of a one-sided conversation. "Everybody else seems to understand Mac so well... except for me."

Mac's chest tightened painfully, the guilt once again coiling in his stomach. He knew he should have walked away, but he just... couldn't, so he concentrated on staying completely silent. "I know they've all known him for much longer than I have," Desi continued. "But you'd think that two years would be enough." She sighed. "I was never going to replace Jack, right? No matter how hard I tried." She scoffed a little. "And now that he's back I can see just how well Jack... _understands_ him and... I hate it," she said quietly, and Mac realized she sounded... jealous. "Why didn't he let me in like that? I know they've been through so much together, but... I was his _girlfriend_. And somehow Jack always meant more to him."

She heaved a sigh, and to Mac's ears it sounded dangerously close to a sob. "I know I sound like a total bitch right now... but if I know anything about Mac, it's that he did the opposite of what I told him to. I'm sure he told Jack how he feels... and I don't know what happened." She stood abruptly and Mac took a stumbling step backward... a loud one. "Mac, I know you're there. If you try to run away now it's only going to make it worse."

Mac cursed himself, a few times, because he was pretty sure he was about to get murdered. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before pushing the door open and stepping into the room. "Hey," he said quietly, holding Desi's gaze even though she was glaring at him with her arms crossed over her chest. "I didn't know you were here, I... can come back later."

"He's your dad, I'm not gonna keep you from seeing him," Desi said, moving to walk past him. When he didn't leave the doorway, she raised an eyebrow at him. "Something you'd like to say?"

"Yeah," Mac replied, surprising both Desi and himself. "I know it probably doesn't mean much now, Desi, but I'm so sorry about what happened yesterday. I should've told you how I felt before we went to bed together, and... I get it if you want nothing to do with me."

He did step aside now, so that Desi could leave whenever she choose to. "Right now I really do," she said quietly, and Mac nodded because he got it - if he had been in her shoes he wouldn't have wanted anything to do with himself either. "I know you're sorry, Mac, but... it doesn't make it hurt any less." She swallowed hard. "You might've not been in love, but I... was. Am." She cleared her throat, looking away. "But I'll deal with that." She took a few steps toward the door. "I'll see you later, I guess."

Mac was going to let her go without another word, but he decided against it. "Dez?" He waited until she paused before he continued, "Jack and I were thinking maybe we could have a little pool party tonight. Margaritas, some good food... what do you think?"

"Sure," Desi replied after a moment, nodding. "That would be... nice. What should I bring?"

"Whatever you want for food," Mac said swallowing hard. "And... those feelings you said you have for someone you think is straight? Maybe you should go for it... when you're ready, I mean. You might be surprised."

Desi stared at him for a moment before something vulnerable flashed in her eyes. "You told him," she whispers, and it wasn't a question, it was a statement.

Mac exhaled shakily, inwardly rolling his eyes at himself - there went keeping his relationship with Jack a secret. "I... I did," he confirmed, his heart pounding wildly. "He's-"

In that moment he heard footsteps outside and then Jack showed up in the doorway. "Hey, Mac, I was going to- oh." He abruptly stopped talking, his eyes widening slightly. "Hey, Dez."

"Hey," Desi said, her dark eyes searching Jack's face for a moment before she glanced at Mac. "I'm gonna go... Riley and I are going to check out the marketplace downtown."

She left before either of them could say anything else, and there was a beat of silence before James declared from the bed, "Well, that was awkward as all fuck."

Mac startled so badly he actually yelped in surprise, jumping a little and spinning around to look at his dad. James was wide awake and looking at him with a raised eyebrow, looking basically like his normal self, except for the burns. "Do you have any idea how hard it was to pretend to be asleep during all that?" he asked, his voice still hoarse. "And during Desi's visit, I'm quite proud of myself." He gave Mac a pointed look. "Let me tell you, Angus, you really fucked up."

"I know, Dad," Mac said, putting a hand over his heart to check that it was still beating normally. He sat down in the seat Desi had just vacated, and a moment later Jack sat in the one beside him. "So how are you feeling?"

"Better," James said, wincing as he used the bed controls to sit up. "I talked to doctor Martinez again, and we've worked out a treatment plan... but I'd like you to take a look at it too."

"Yeah, of course," Mac said, trying not to get his hopes up, but he was excited about the treatment possibly working, he couldn't help it. "I'd love to."

They were all silent for a moment and James looked between him and Jack before rolling his eyes. "Come on, Angus, spill," he said, and Mac's eyes widened. "From what you and Desi talked about I got that you told Jack _something_ -" Mac was aware of Jack's head snapping in his direction, but he was busy staring at his dad and a smirk on his face "-so how about you finish the story? I'm bored out of my mind here, I could use some gossip."

"It sounds like you've already got the story figured out," Mac remarked, and he was alarmed when his father's smirk turned knowing. Had he really been that transparent about his feelings for Jack? 

"Oh, I think so," James said, turning his attention to Jack. "And I'll warn you right now, Dalton, if you hurt my son in any way I will hunt you down and kill you. Doesn't matter what shape I'm in."

"Duly noted," Jack said, reaching blindly for Mac's hand and relaxing only when he found it. "So did everyone know how we felt but us? And Desi, apparently?"

"Yeah, pretty much," James replied. "You were both painfully obvious."

"Hey now," Mac protested before he looked at Jack. "To be fair, Desi only knew about my feelings, she was sure you were straight."

"That's because she didn't see you two in action," James commented. "I'd lost count of how many times Dalton drooled and tripped over his feet only because you bent down."

Mac's face flamed red and beside him Jack choked on his own spit. "That's not- I didn't-" Jack sputtered, then took a deep breath. "You make it sound like all I did was ogle him, and that ain't true."

"Well, of course not," James agreed, looking at Jack with a mild expression that... that was respectful, like he had just passed some kind of test. "If that had been the case, I would've punted you over a cliff that one time in Mexico." He sighed. "We do wind up in Mexico a lot, don't we?"

"Y-yeah, we really do," Mac replied, his voice cracking as he tried to recover from what had just happened. "We should take a break from Mexico once... we're all done here."

"Agreed," James said, not commenting on how they all knew that by being done Mac had meant James recovering. "All teasing aside, Angus... I'm happy for you. Both of you." He glanced at Jack before turning his gaze back to Mac. "Even when you were with Desi, I hoped you two would figure it out. Of course I had no idea you'd fuck up so spectacularly, son, and break up with her right after sleeping with her."

"Yeah, that was... not my best move," Mac said with a wince, and Jack squeezed his hand reassuringly. He looked at his dad for a moment and decided that after everything they had been through, he deserved Mac's trust. "I think it took that last time with her for me to realize just how miserable I was," he continued, smiling when his dad's eyes widened in surprise at the sharing. "Desi's a fantastic person, but... she's not the person I wanted the most. And I decided that... that even if she was right and Jack didn't return my feelings, I had to try, because carrying on otherwise wasn't healthy for either of us."

"And then you got drunk as a skunk which made your brain-to-mouth filter disappear," Jack teased. "You're so much talkative when you're drunk, you probably wouldn't have said anything if you were sober."

Much to Mac's surprise his dad chuckled, watching them both in amusement. "Let me guess, tequila?" he asked, smiling when Mac looked at him in surprise. "We are in Mexico after all. And you wouldn't get that drunk on just beer."

At that moment they were interrupted by a knock on the door jamb. "Sorry to break up the party," doctor Martinez said, a smile on her face. She had a tablet in her other hand, and when she got close enough she held it out to Mac. "Here, your father said that you were quite the expert in your field and he wanted you to see the treatment plan." Mac quirked an eyebrow and wondered what field James had said he was in, but took the tablet all the same.

"Thank you," he told her with a smile, and started going through the treatment plan. All the reading and research he had done in the past when he had first found out about the cancer came in handy right now and he was so focused on analyzing the experimental treatment that he tuned out everything and everyone around him.

The experimental treatment was... well, _experimental_ _,_ but it had a good prognosis with James's particular type of cancer. There were potential side effects, but the treatment itself was short, given in large doses over ten days. There was something missing, though, and it took him a while to figure out what it was.

"I think... this could work," Mac said, and when everyone in the room startled he realized he had been silent for about ten minutes. "Have you considered an implant? One that could dispense the drug over a longer period of time?"

Doctor Martinez blinked. "No... we hadn't thought of that. Did you have an idea for a design?"

"Not yet, but if you give me a moment I might come up with something." He gave her back the tablet and looked around, his hands already itching. "I need... a pad or a piece of paper. And a pen."

"On it," Jack said, getting up and winking at Martinez who looked shocked. "When he has an idea it's better to do what he says," he told her with a grin. "I'll be right back."

Jack ducked out and they all heard him speaking flawless Spanish to the nurses at their desk. He came back a moment later with a brand new pad of paper and a pen. "Here you go."

"Thanks," Mac murmured, starting to draw immediately, the device he had in mind sprawling out on the paper. "This would need to be made out of a high grade body safe polymer, so that the bile in the liver wouldn't destroy it - do you have a 3D printer?"

"Yes, down in the lab," Martinez said, and gestured for him to stand. "If you want to come with me, we could make a prototype right now."

"Yeah, sure," Mac eagerly agreed, standing up, and they headed for the door. When he was in the doorway he suddenly remembered his dad and Jack, and he spun around. "Wait, are you guys-"

"We're gonna be just fine, go," Jack said, waving him off. "I'm sure your old man would love to interrogate me more."

Mac looked at him for a moment before he smiled. "Okay... try not to kill each other."

"Will do," James promised, and then he looped his IV line around Jack's neck just to make Mac laugh. He headed down the hall with doctor Martinez with a new spring in his step, hopeful that he might be able to do something useful and help his father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment if you enjoyed it! ♥


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> I'm SO sorry you had to wait so long for this chapter. I was a little busy and I didn't even realize how much time has passed until last week, and when I did I was horrified. But here it is, the next chapter... and the last proper one. All that's left after this is a short epilogue that I will post either tomorrow or on Friday.
> 
> Sammy and I really hope you enjoy it!

A while later, once Mac was done discussing his idea with doctor Martinez and going over the prototype they made, they decided to let James rest. With promises to come back the next day they left the hospital and after stopping by a store to get more tequila and some food, they headed back to the mansion.

Everybody else was already there, and when Mac and Jack arrived Riley was in the process of pulling a giant blender out of a cabinet. "Hey guys!" she said, smiling widely and coming over to give them both a hug. "I'm really happy for you." As she pulled back she flicked Mac in the side of the head with her fingers. "But _you_ need to work on your communication skills."

"Noted," Mac said, wincing and rubbing his temple. "So I take it you got the memo about the margaritas?"

"Yeah, Desi mentioned it," Riley said, and Jack absently realized that Desi also must have told everyone about them getting together... because how else would Riley have known? "And then I found this baby." She gestured at the blender. "You got tequila?"

"You know it, baby girl," Jack replied, lifting up the bag where the two bottles they had gotten rattled inside. "And let's keep that blender away from Mac, especially after he drinks, because otherwise he will start taking it apart and try to turn it into a grenade launcher."

"Now that I'd like to see!" Russ exclaimed, walking in from the backyard in a Speedo and nothing else. He was... pretty ripped, Jack had to admit, if a little too hairy for his taste. "Would you make your own grenades as well?"

"I probably could," Mac mused. "Maybe a flamethrower would be better."

"You guys figure that out, I'm gonna go change," Riley declared, kissing Jack's cheek before she bounded up the stairs.

Jack discreetly glanced at Mac and he was happy to see that he didn't seem to react in any way to Taylor being almost naked. He knew Mac loved him, but he was feeling a little possessive, sue him. "Oh no, dude, no way," he said, pointing his finger at Mac. "You're not making a flamethrower outta this blender. We both know how it ended the last time you tried it."

"You wound up with no blender?" Russ guessed.

Jack pointed at him next. "See, he gets it."

"Okay, fire pit's all set up and so is the table," Bozer said, coming inside in a pair of much more modest swim trunks. "We bought you two some clothes while we were out earlier, I left everything with your bags."

"Thanks, Bozer," Mac said, fist-bumping him before he headed for the stairs. "Unless you got me a Speedo, in which case I'll be back down here to kick your ass."

Bozer waited until Mac disappeared upstairs before he grinned at Jack. "I definitely _did_ get him a Speedo," he said, and Jack's mouth was suddenly dry. He had never seen Mac in a Speedo and he was pretty sure he wouldn't survive it if it was anything like the one Russ was wearing. "Jack, I expect you to defend me if he tries to kill me."

Jack raised his eyebrow. "And why would I do that?"

Bozer gave him a pointed look. "You'll see. Now go and change, it's party time!"

Jack squinted at him, but then nodded and headed upstairs. He decided to go straight into the room he had left his bag in and he was relieved to see they guys had bought him some normal swim trunks, nothing drastic. He quickly changed and walked out of the room, heading for the stairs... and then he heard Mac.

"Bozer!" His voice was coming from downstairs, so he must have already changed. "I'm gonna kill you, resurrect you, and then drown you in the pool!"

Russ cackled from behind the counter where he was pouring ice into the blender along with tequila and agave syrup. "I don't understand why you're so upset, Angus - it's not like you don't have the legs for it!"

"Shut up, Taylor," Mac practically growled, and when Jack got down to their level and caught sight of him, he had to grab the banister to stay upright.

What Mac was wearing... was technically a Speedo, at least Jack thought so, but in reality it barely covered anything. He could only see Mac from behind and he couldn't tear his gaze away from his ass, the hot pink material accenting every curve. "Dalton, are you okay?" Russ's amused voice called out... and then Mac turned around.

There were curves in front too, of a very different kind, and Jack had to think about his grandmother's wrinkled skin to avoid an awkward boner. "Bozer, seriously, what the hell?" Mac asked, stalking toward his best friend - and his predatory gaze coupled with the fact that Mac didn't seem to notice Jack's predicament was making things worse.

"I picked it out," Desi declared from the top of the stairs, hands on her hips and tattoos on full display in a canary yellow bikini. She grinned and it was all teeth. "I thought you could use a little discomfort after yesterday... but Bozer is technically the one who bought it."

She was absolutely gorgeous and Jack briefly wondered why the hell Mac would have given that up for _him_ , but he was distracted from that when Mac turned again and he caught a glimpse of his front again, his cock barely covered by the Speedo.

Mac didn't pay Desi any mind - since he kind of deserved this coming from her - and Bozer yelped when Mac got close to him, and he jumped to hide behind Matty. "Matty, help!"

Matty arched her eyebrows, stepping aside in her sleek black one-piece and holding her hands up. "I told you this was a bad idea - you're on your own, Bozer."

"Did I miss the death and violence?" Riley asked, resting an arm on Desi's shoulder after she pulled her hair into a ponytail, a shimmery purple bikini not covering nearly enough in Jack's opinion. "Or is Bozer still alive?"

"Oh, he's alive," Desi replied, and they both made their way down the stairs. "Not for long though."

"You're a dead man, Boze," Mac said in a low, deadly voice that turned Jack on even more. Bozer squealed and ran around the pool, but Mac didn't follow, only crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm not Jack, I'm not gonna hunt you down." He smirked, and god no, Jack was fucked. "I'm gonna figure something else out."

"Fuck, that's even worse!" Bozer exclaimed from the other side of the pool.

"I think that's the point," Matty noted, high-fiving Mac on her way to get a margarita. "And this might be forward of me to say to a coworker, but nice junk." Mac was just about to take a sip from the margarita Russ had handed to him, but veered away at the last second, coughing in surprise as his eyes went wide.

Jack definitely agreed and he couldn't help but snicker, grateful for a temporary distraction, and he headed closer to the pool as well. Matty winked at him and handed him a margarita, and then his gaze inevitably drifted back toward Mac... and his Speedo. "Get it together, Jack," Riley muttered, suddenly right next to him, and she grinned. "You're not being subtle."

"You aren't either," Jack said, slinging his free arm around her shoulders. "I saw you checkin' out Desi before you played all innocent."

Riley's cheeks turned pink and she ducked her head. "Shut up," she mumbled, clearing her throat. "She's just... really pretty, that's all. And smart... and funny..."

"Mhmm, right," Jack said, and grins. "Sounds to me like someone has a crush."

"No," Riley replied in a hushed whisper, frantically looking around, but no one was eavesdropping. "I don't-"

"I'm gonna tell you a secret, but you don't know it from me," Jack said. "If you're worried she's straight... don't. And you should probably give her some time to get over Mac, but then... you should go for it."

Riley's eyes got huge. "Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack," Jack said, pulling her in so he could kiss her temple. "And I think you'd be good for each other. Dez can be kind of intense, and you'd mellow her some."

"Thanks, Jack," Riley murmured, and he gave her a squeeze before he let her go so he could approach Mac.

"Hey," Mac says when he got close, sitting on the picnic bench with his legs crossed demurely. "So I want your input for my revenge on Bozer."

"Poor guy, he's gonna pay dearly for that, isn't he?" Jack commented, somehow keeping his voice steady, and he sat down next to Mac. He tried to keep his gaze on Mac's face and not let it drop lower, but it wasn't easy. "So what are you planning? You could take apart his favorite kitchen stuff, but those are all back in LA."

"Yeah, I thought of that already... I guess I'm gonna have to get creative," Mac said, sipping his margarita and eyeing Jack over the rim of his glass. He was gorgeous in the fading sunlight, shadows cast by the tall desert palms in the backyard making the angles of his face sharper. "Is something wrong? You're acting awfully strange."

"What? Nothing's wrong," Jack quickly replied, _too quickly_ , he knew that and cursed himself. "I'm... just fine. Completely fine."

Mac watched him for a moment, raising his eyebrow. "See, that's exactly what I meant. Strange." He set the margarita aside and moved closer to Jack. "What's up?"

Jack stared at him for a second. "You're fucking with me, right?" When Mac only blinked in confusion, he elaborated, "You don't know why I'm sitting here with sweaty palms and a dry mouth like a fucking sixteen year old with a crush?"

"No?" Mac said, a question attached to the single word. "At first I figured you were trying not to laugh because of how ridiculous I look in this thing... but now I don't know what's going on."

"Ridiculous?" Jack breathed out, not believing what he was hearing. "Oh no, baby, I definitely wasn't trying not to laugh... and you definitely don't look _ridiculous._ " Mac blinked at him again and while it was incredibly endearing, it was also frustrating and Jack was seconds away from dragging Mac to the closest flat surface to have his way with him. "Mac, that fucking Speedo leaves... very little to imagination," he murmured. "And I've been half-hard ever since I saw you in it."

Mac blinked again and then a pretty pink flush colored the bridge of his nose and his cheeks, making his freckles stand out. "Oh," he said, ducking his head and smiling a little, like he was pleased by the compliment even if he hadn't expected it... and even if it was kind of vulgar. That made Jack wonder how often Mac had been complimented. "Well, you walking around shirtless isn't making it easy to keep this Speedo on."

It was taking everything in Jack's power to stop himself from pulling Mac into the kiss. He didn't want to do that, though, both because he knew the kiss would turn... heated very quickly, and because he didn't want to hurt Desi even more by forcing their relationship on her. "Well, it's barely staying on anyway," he murmured. "Also, it's very... fitted."

Mac made a face. "Yeah, it is. Which is why I'm thinking about advanced purification and not how much I want you to fuck me."

Jack choked a little on his margarita, free hand forming a fist on his thigh. "I went with my grandmother naked, but I guess rotting meat works too," he allowed, watching their friends come outside with trays of food. "And we're about to have company."

"I guess you have to figure out a way to keep it in your pants," Mac whispered, and _winked_ before standing up and going to help Russ with food... and it was either Jack's imagination, or Mac's hips were _swaying_. He swallowed hard and forced a smile in his face when everybody set the trays on the table, and Bozer brought more margaritas.

Mac pretended to lunge in Bozer's direction and he yelped, which made everyone laugh. They all sat down and Jack wound up across from Mac instead of next to him, which was fine. "Oooh, this looks so good," Riley commented, rubbing her hands together gleefully as she gazed at all the food. "I think I'm going for the quesadillas first."

"Good choice," Jack said, handing her the plate. "My first choice is tacos, though." He put some in his plate and hoped that focusing on food would help him take his mind of Mac and that damn Speedo.

"You just had tacos last night," Mac commented, reaching for the quesadillas as well... and Jack almost choked when he felt Mac's foot run up his calf.

"Yeah, but those were beef and these are chicken," Jack said, and it was only thanks to his training that he was able to keep his voice steady. "Totally different."

"That sounds pretty much the same," Desi said, eyeing him skeptically as she picked up the refried beans. "I'd also like to point out that we're all going to have terrible gas later."

"Ah, the price we pay for delicious food," Russ lamented, right before he took a huge bite off a burrito.

Everybody laughed and they all started chatting in smaller groups as they slowly devoured the food. Jack was also losing his damn mind because Mac continued teasing him, smiling as if nothing was wrong. He took his foot away only to run it up Jack's leg again a moment later, usually when he least expected it, and if he kept it up, Jack would drag him away to the bedroom.

Thankfully once they were done eating they moved into the pool, defying every mom's advice since the beginning of time and not waiting a half hour before swimming. The cool water helped clear Jack's head a little, and when Russ produced a volleyball he was more than up for some physical activity. Except somehow he and Mac ended up on separate teams, Jack and Riley versus Mac and Russ, while Desi and Matty made more margaritas and Bozer played line judge since they didn't have a net.

That may have been a recipe for a disaster since both him and Mac were _very_ competitive, especially when competing against each other... and Mac trying to win, with that glint in his eyes... that was _hot_. "Oh you're going down," Mac said with a grin. "We're gonna destroy you."

"Please," Riley scoffed. "I'm not gonna get beaten up by two guys in speedos. Bring it."

Bozer dropped the ball and they started playing, slapping and spiking the ball all over the place. Pretty soon the score was all tied up at six points apiece, and Desi called from the edge of the pool, "Next point wins it! We have more drinks!" Mac grinned at Jack and served the ball, slamming it hard in his direction.

Jack managed to receive and the ball flied in Riley's direction... who jumped up and spiked it hard in Russ's direction who tried to reach it, but failed. "Hell yeah, that's my baby girl!" Jack yelled, swimming up to Riley and giving her a high five as they both cheered.

Mac in the meantime splashed the water at Russ. "Come on, Russ! You were right there!"

Russ sputtered and tried to bat the water away, and Mac huffed as he swam over to the edge of the pool for a second margarita. "Is it poisoned?" he asked Desi, and she rolled her eyes at him.

"If I wanted to poison you, I wouldn't do it while everybody else was around to witness it," she replied, not seeming to notice Riley watching her longingly.

"Good point... unless you wanted everyone to think _that_ ," Mac replied, ducking when she tried to swat at his head.

Jack snorted and then elbowed Riley, grinning when she yelped. "Easy with the starin', sweetheart," he muttered. "Unless you want Bozer... or worse, Taylor, to realize what's goin' on."

Riley looked at him for several seconds before her eyes narrowed. "Fuck it." She grabbed the edge of the pool and hauled herself out, making her way over to Desi. She waited until Desi put down the empty drink tray before she grabbed her by the shoulders and hauled her in for a kiss. Jack put a hand over his mouth to keep in an exclamation of surprise, and he grinned when Desi put her hands on Riley's waist and pulled her closer, kissing her back.

Bozer, who had gone back inside after the game, came back out. "Hey, guys, OH MY GOD!" he yelled, but both Riley and Desi ignored him.

Jack turned his head to look for Mac and found him swimming up closer, a huge grin on his face. "I know you had something to do with it," he said, giving Jack a look when he shook his head.

"I didn't!" Jack exclaimed. "I did tell Riles to go for it... after giving Desi some time."

"Well, apparently her not killing me with a margarita was the green light," Mac mused, yelping when Russ smacked his ass he came over to join them. "What was that for?"

"This must be your fault somehow, I'm congratulating you," Russ replied, grinning. "I'm also a little smashed."

"Taylor, remember how I kicked your ass a few years back? Twisted your arm so badly it almost broke?" Jack said lowly, gritting his teeth together. He was aware of Mac looking at him in surprise, but he focused on glaring at Russ. "Touch him again like that and I will break your arm, and it will be the least of your worries."

"Feisty, Dalton - I like it." Russ grinned wider and smacked Jack's ass next before he hauled himself out of the pool to get a drink. "Keep me in mind for a threesome."

"Well that was... something," Mac commented, raising an eyebrow at Jack's expression. "Never heard you sound jealous before. That's pretty hot."

"I'm gonna kill him," Jack growled, and moved to the edge of the pool, but Mac's hand on his arm stopped him. That was when the rest of what he had said registered in his brain and he frowned. "Wait, you... you like that?"

"Are you kidding?" Mac asked incredulously... and stepped closer wrapping his arms around Jack's neck, apparently not caring about anyone seeing them. "You're always hot, but that... was something," he repeats his earlier words. "Also, we're not having a threesome."

"No shit," Jack said, making a face at the idea. He looped an arm around Mac's waist, leaning in to give him a chaste kiss. "I'd be afraid you had a concussion if you were actually considering that."

"Nope, brain's intact," Mac said, bringing one of his feet up to drag against Jack's calf, just like he had at the table. "You know, except for the parts killed by alcohol."

"Mhmm, right," Jack muttered, distracted by Mac's teasing. He glanced around and saw that Riley and Desi had stopped kissing and were now talking by the table, Russ was nowhere to be seen, and Matty was chatting with Bozer... so he pushed Mac until his back pressed against the edge of the pool. "You know, your teasing has been driving me crazy," he muttered, sliding one hand lower to grope Mac's ass through the Speedo. "And I'm pretty sure you've been doin' that on purpose."

Mac smiled at him, dimples showing as he fluttered his eyelashes at him. "Now what would make you say that?" His hands found Jack's waist under the water and tugged him closer, teeth sinking into his lower lip when he felt Jack's cock press against his own. "Once you told me you _liked_ this stupid Speedo, it was kinda easy to start egging you on."

"I love that damn Speedo," Jack growled, and he leaned in to press his lips to Mac's. He felt him gasp and he took advantage of his lips parting to slide his tongue into his mouth and deepen the kiss, crowding Mac against the wall. "You're infuriating," he mumbled against his mouth, and slid his hand around to press his palm against Mac's cock. "But I love you."

Mac groaned quietly and rocked his hips into the friction from Jack's hand. "I love you too," he whispered, one of his hands sliding into Jack's swim trunks to grope at his ass. He nipped at Jack's lower lip. "And we need to find a way to get upstairs without it being too obvious."

Jack was blaming the margaritas for how bold he felt and he slipped his hand into the Speedo, tracing Mac's cock with one finger. "Once you get out of pool, _this.._." He kissed Mac's jaw before pressing his lips to his ear. "... is going to be very obvious, especially in that tiny Speedo." Mac groaned softly, inhaling sharply when Jack wrapped his fingers around his cock. "You think I could get you off right here? You think anyone would notice?"

"Oh, _fuck_ , Jack," Mac whispered, but he wasn't saying no or pushing him away. In fact those hands pulled him closer, fingertips slipping into Jack's ass crack and brushing over his entrance. "If... if you did, then we could get inside a lot easier."

"That's exactly what I was thinkin'," Jack said lowly, giving his cock a slow, tight tug, thumbing over the head when he reached it. "Is this enough to do it?"

Mac let out a whimper and bit his lower lip to muffle the sound. "Y-yeah, this is... perfect," he breathed out, his cheeks flushed from margaritas, but also from what they were doing.

Jack shivered when he felt those brilliant fingers press against his entrance, but he concentrated on his grip around Mac's cock. "You need to stay quiet," he whispered, and watched Mac's face as he started jerking him off slowly. "Or everyone's gonna know what we're doin' here."

Mac glanced over his shoulder, looking at where Desi and Riley were now trading kisses on a bench... they seemed distracted, and Bozer and Matty had gone inside. "Shit, Jack, this is so hot," Mac told him, breath puffing against Jack's cheek as his hips twitched into Jack's hand. "Can you - oh, fuck - can you get your fingers in me? It should be wet enough."

"Holy fuck," Jack groaned, his own cock twitching in his swim trunks, so he pressed himself against Mac's thigh to get some friction. "Yeah, I... I can do that." He let go of Mac's cock for now, sliding his hand around inside his Speedo, and Mac shuddered against him when he slipped his fingers between his ass cheeks, rubbing them over his entrance.

He relaxed into Jack's touch instantly, and when Jack pushed his index finger slipped into his body. He moved it in and out slowly, kissing over Mac's cheek and jaw, whatever skin he could reach as he kept working his cock with his other hand. "Oh, _oh_ , Jack," Mac mumbled, his hands shifting to grip at his back, nails digging at his flesh. "Just... just a little more. That's all I need."

"Fuck, you're so beautiful," Jack whispered into his ear, slipping in a second finger alongside the first one. He tightened his grip on Mac's cock and stroked him faster, moaning softly when Mac kept clawing at his back. "So stunning. Come on, Angus," he breathed out, mouthing at Mac's jaw. "Come on, baby."

Mac whined near his ear and sank his teeth into the side of his neck as he came. His hips rocked as Jack milked every last drop of come out of him and into the pool water. It was swept away almost immediately by the filter and Mac slumped in Jack's hold, trusting him to keep him upright. Jack did, of course, slipping his fingers from his body and his hand off Mac's cock as he gathered him closer, biting the inside of his cheek to muffle a whimper when Mac's thigh brushed against Jack's rock hard cock.

He felt Mac exhale against his cheek. "That was incredible," he whispered, and Jack only nodded in response. He glanced around, but it didn't seem like anyone had noticed them, and he muffled another sound when Mac's thigh pressed harder against his cock. "We have to do something about that as well," Mac murmured, and Jack felt him smile when he thrusted against his thigh. "Come on, babe." Mac's hand slid lower to tug Jack's swim trunks down a little, taking his cock out and pressing himself closer. "Use me," he breathed out, wrapping his arms around Jack's neck.

"Oh fuck," Jack groaned into his ear, mouthing and licking at Mac's skin to keep himself quiet. He braced his hands on either side of Mac's body on the pool's edge and put a leg on either side of Mac's thigh. The first drag of his cock against Mac's leg had Jack's eyes rolling up in the back of his head, and he had to be careful how vigorously he moved or the splashing could have gotten the attention of the girls.

He set up a slow pace, grinding his cock against Mac's thigh as hard as could, and he was barely managing to stay quiet. "That's it, come on," Mac murmured into his ear, teeth tugging on the lobe. "They're not looking at us, it's all good." Somehow that spurred Jack on and he moved a little faster, burying his face in Mac's neck to muffle his moans.

The next thing Jack knew he was coming hard, feeling like he was boiling from the inside out as he smeared come all over Mac's thigh. The water whisked it away and Jack shuddered through his aftershocks, shifting to clutch at Mac instead of the pool wall. "As soon as your legs start working again we're going inside," Mac declared, nuzzling at Jack's stubble. 'I want you so bad."

"You just had me," Jack mumbled, shivering when Mac pulled his swim trunks up and tucked his cock back into them.

"As fun and hot as this was..." he murmurs, arms sliding around Jack's waist. "I want that huge cock of yours inside me again. And this time..." He trailed off and pulled back to look into Jack's eyes, his own almost black with lust. "I want it hard. And fast." He smirked. "You might have to choke me to keep me quiet."

Jack's whole body twitched when he heard those words - spent cock included - and he wasn't super clear on what happened next. One minute they were in the pool, and the next they were out of it and Mac was in his arms as he walked toward the house. He managed to keep his lips off of Mac until they were in the room Jack had picked out for himself earlier, door shut and locked behind them. Then he attacked Mac's mouth with his own, licking and biting until Mac was moaning against his lips.

Once he couldn't breathe anymore Jack broke the kiss and pushed Mac down on the bed, watching him for a moment, all sprawled out on the mattress. Then he crawled on top of him, pressing their lips together again in a hungry kiss, groaning when Mac instantly spread his legs, their cocks grinding together through the wet material of their trunks. "Fuck, baby," Jack groaned against his mouth. "Can't wait to have you again... make you fall apart."

"That's a lot of big talk for a guy who just humped my leg in a pool," Mac teased, laughing when Jack punched him in the shoulder gently. "What? You started it!"

"I did start it, but only because you're a little minx," Jack said, breaking the kiss to mouth over Mac's jaw. "And you've got no idea how gorgeous you are... or what you do to me."

Mac's breath hitched. "I think I have some idea... but I also think it's all because of the Speedo."

"You're gorgeous no matter what," Jack mumbled, nipping at Mac's jaw while he slid one hand lower to rub his thumb over one of Mac's nipples. "But you're keeping the Speedo."

"Oh yeah?" Mac asked breathlessly, shuddering when Jack continued teasing his nipple. "But what for? I d-don't have a pool back home."

"We'll put one in," Jack mumbled, his teeth nipping at the birthmark near Mac's jaw. "It's California, right? You should have a pool."

Mac laughed, but it tapered off into a moan when Jack's hand slipped further down his body, squeezing at his cock through the Speedo. "Seriously?" he asked, hitching a leg over Jack's waist. "That's your one demand for moving in with me? A pool?"

Jack froze, his hand still on Mac's cock, and he lifted his head to look down at him. "I'm moving in with you?" he asked quietly, and Mac's brows furrowed in confusion.

"I mean... you already kinda did?" he said slowly, tilting his head. "All your stuff is at my place and you don't have your apartment anymore."

"Yeah, I know, I just..." Jack swallowed hard. "Before we got together I assumed it was... temporary. And it didn't occur to me that... you'd want me to stay."

Mac hooked his arms around Jack and pulled him down for a kiss. "Of course I want you to stay," he murmured, one hand going to the back of Jack's head, nails scratching against his scalp. "And I want my room to be your room too, especially since Riley's probably gonna be in my guest bedroom for a while. She and Desi will need time to figure things out... plus I have every video game console and she's been abusing her privileges."

"There go my hopes for having very loud sex once we got home," Jack whined, but he also couldn't stop smiling. Mac laughed again, that amazing, bright sound that Jack loved so much, and he had to kiss him again. "But in that case... I'd love to move in with you. Permanently."

"That's great," Mac murmured with a smile. "And I'm very happy about it, I really am, but... your hand on my cock is kinda driving me insane here."

Jack grinned and removed his hand just to be a shit, laughing when Mac scowled at him. He leaned back far enough to slip out of his wet bathing suit and helped Mac do the same a second later. Then he patted him on the hip, a plan forming in his mind. "Go on, roll over. The pillows should help muffle all those pretty sounds you make... and I wanna lick you open."

Mac stared at him with huge eyes and then he almost fell out of the bed in his haste to roll over. Jack chuckled and grabbed him by the hips to tug him to the middle of the mattress, and then he kneeled between Mac's legs. "Fuck, you're so beautiful," he murmured, looking down at him for a moment, before spreading his ass cheeks with his hands and leaning down to lick over his entrance.

Mac's hips jolted at the contact and he moaned, but thankfully the noise was muffled by the pillows, just as Jack had suspected. He wasn't opposed to a little choking if that was something Mac liked... but he wanted both hands free right now. He licked at Mac's hole until he relaxed enough that he could push his tongue inside him, slowly working him open, both hands gripping his ass hard enough to bruise.

Mac moaned again, louder this time, the sound still muffled by the pillows. Jack continued working him open with his tongue, loving how Mac gasped and writhed underneath him, and he kneaded his ass cheeks with his hands. After spending _years_ of drooling over that ass, Jack couldn't get enough of it right now, and before he knew what he was doing, he pulled away, ignoring Mac's whine of protest... and then he smacked one of his ass cheeks with his hand.

Mac made a surprised sound and twisted his fingers into the comforter on either side of his body. "Oh, _Jack_ ," he groaned out. "Do that again." Jack smacked the other side this time, watching in fascination as the skin flushed red. He hopped up to grab the lube before returning to the bed, slicking up two fingers and plunging them inside Mac's body while his other hand spanked him again, harder this time.

Mac let out a muffled shout and then moaned when Jack started pushing his two fingers in and out of him. He remembered Mac saying he wanted it hard and fast this time, so he moved his fingers roughly, smirking when he found his prostate and Mac cried out in pleasure. He continued spanking him every now and then, and after a moment he noticed Mac's hips were grinding down against the mattress.

Spanking him again, he pulled his fingers out and grabbed Mac by the hips, yanking him up until he was on his hands and knees. "No grinding down, baby," he reprimanded, and thrusted his fingers back into him. "And let's see how you stay quiet _without_ those pillows."

"Fuck," Mac muttered, and the next time Jack found his prostate he had to press his face against his bicep to smother the cry that left his lips. Jack scissored his fingers apart faster than he normally would have before he added a third one, careful not to hurt Mac no matter how rough he was getting.

"You want me to stretch you more, Angus?" he asked, leaning down to mouth at Mac's shoulders. "Or you wanna go right now?"

"N-now," Mac said, his voice cracking a little as he shuddered under Jack's touch. "Please, Jack, I need you inside me." Groaning, Jack bit down on Mac's shoulder and straightened up, fucking Mac with his fingers for a moment longer before taking them out. He was already fully hard again and he didn't remember the last time he was able to get it up again so quickly, but he definitely wasn't complaining. He smacked Mac's ass again before reaching for the lube and slicking his cock up with it.

He slid an arm around Mac's waist to help keep him steady, using his other hand to guide himself to his entrance. He pushed inside in one harsh movement, making them both shout in pleasure. "Oh god, _yes,_ " Mac hissed, dropping his weight to his elbows and trusting Jack to hold him up. "Fuck me, Jack, _now_. Please."

"Can't say no to that," Jack muttered, and took one deep breath to get himself together before he drew his hips back almost entirely and slammed back into Mac. He groaned while Mac cried out loudly, the sound very much audible even with Mac pressing his face into his forearm, and Jack braced himself on his knees, holding Mac tightly, and he started moving. He set up a quick, rough pace, throwing his head back when Mac clenched around his cock, the tight warmth around it almost too overwhelming.

"Fuck, baby, that's so good," Jack praised, hammering away inside Mac and reveling in each little broken noise he made. "You're so good for me, Angus." He used his free hand to smack Mac's ass in between thrusts, slowing down ever so slightly so he could find Mac's prostate. "How many times you think you can come for me, huh? You already did once in the pool... I'm thinking at least two more."

Mac moaned brokenly, his hands twisting in the bedsheets near his head. "Y-yeah, I..." he started, and then moaned when Jack hit his prostate. "I t-think so."

"Good boy," Jack said with a smirk, and smacked Mac's ass again. He picked up the pace again, gripping Mac's hips with both hands to keep his ass up as he continued to pound into him. The sounds Mac was making, while muffled, were getting higher and more desperate, so he must have been getting close. "What do you say, baby?" Jack grunted, focused on slamming into him as hard as he could. "You gonna come all over yourself... and then let me keep fucking you?"

Mac's answer was a long, drawn-out moan as he started to come, clenching around Jack's cock and shuddering in his grip. Jack slowed his pace a little as he fucked him through the aftershocks, then pulled out and rolled him over, nudging his legs apart and sliding back inside. "Now, what's all this about choking? Is that something you're into?"

Mac was panting under him, clearly trying to catch his breath, but once Jack mentioned choking his eyes widened and he nodded frantically. "I... I never tried it with a-anyone," he said breathlessly, his chest heaving violently. "But I... I imagined it a lot. With you."

His cheeks flushed pink and Jack leaned down to press a kiss to his throat. "We can try it," he murmured, nipping at his delicate skin. "But if you don't like it and want to stop, you smack me on the head."

Mac laughed and grabbed Jack's face with both hands, kissing him hard and slightly off center. "I love you so much," he mumbled against his lips. "And I'll smack you if I need to... but I don't think I'll need to."

"Fair enough," Jack said, kissing him again just because he could. "I love you too, darlin' - you still want it hard and fast?"

"Maybe a little slower to start out," Mac suggested, gasping when Jack grabbed his wrists in one hand and pinned them over his head. "Oh wow... I like that."

Jack smirked at him and leaned down to nip at his jaw. He drew his hips back and pushed back inside, slower this time, just like Mac had wanted, and he groaned because even though he had come twice already, Mac was still incredibly tight around him, clenching around his cock in the best way.

Mac arched underneath him and pushed against Jack's grip, but not hard enough to get away - he could have if he really wanted to, Jack knew that. He smacked his thigh with his free hand before running it up his chest, fingers wrapping around his throat. He didn't squeeze yet, just let the weight of it rest there, and he picked up the pace of his hips just a little.

Mac let out a moan and Jack's hips stuttered when he realized he could _feel_ his throat vibrating under his hand. Mac looked up at him with huge eyes, dark with lust, and he moaned again when Jack found his prostate. "Please, Jack," he whispered, and it was obvious what he was asking for. " _Please_."

Jack swallowed hard and put pressure on Mac's throat, squeezing until Mac's eyes rolled back in his head, his lips parting on an airless moan. He continued to thrust into him at that angle, finding his prostate and grinding into it hard, watching in fascination as his cock twitched and he tried to breathe but couldn't ... not until Jack let him.

He let go and Mac took a sharp breath, his fingers flexing above his head. "Good?" Jack asked because he had to make sure, and Mac nodded right away. Reassured, Jack squeezed his throat again and started fucking him faster, mesmerized by how Mac's body jolted and how he arched off the mattress in pleasure.

Each time Jack let him breathe Mac sucked in a ragged gasp, goosebumps breaking out on his skin. He felt himself getting close, warmth pooling in his lower belly, but he wanted to make Mac come one more time before he fell over the edge himself. "C'mon, beautiful," Jack rumbled out, slamming his hips forward again and again, squeezing Mac's throat as hard as he dared to. "You can come for me, I know you can. Do it."

Mac trembled underneath him and after a few more of those brutal thrusts he let out a muffled cry as he came, pushing against Jack's hold on his wrists. Jack pinned him back down and fucked him through it, letting him breathe and burying his face in his neck, groaning when Mac clenched around him. He pounded into him a few more times and then he fell over the edge as well, groaning loudly as he filled Mac up with his come, his hips moving erratically.

His movements slowed and stilled, body collapsing on top of Mac's as he let go of his wrists. They lied there for a moment, the only sound in the room their combined struggle to breathe and the roaring in Jack's ears. He managed to kiss Mac's neck, then his jaw, pressing his lips against his ear to speak. "That... was so good," he whispered, slipping his arms underneath Mac to hold him close. "Are you okay? I didn't hurt you, right?"

"Of course you didn't," Mac replied in a hoarse voice, and Jack realized with a start that it was because of the choking. "And I'm more than okay, I'm amazing." A moment later Jack felt Mac's arms wrap around his waist and squeeze lightly. "That was incredible."

"Mhmm," Jack murmured, nuzzling Mac's ear. "Not gonna argue with you here."

"Are you going to fall asleep on me?" Mac asked in amusement. "Did I wear you out?"

"Maybe," Jack said, barely holding back a yawn. He pulled out carefully and rolled them away from the wet spot, so that Mac was sprawled on his chest. "Could have something to do with all that food and tequila, though."

"Good point," Mac admitted, snuggling in close and kissing Jack's skin. "Plus I have to be up early tomorrow, I told doctor Martinez that I'd present my prototype to the hospital board so we can get the okay to use it on my dad."

"Look at you, bein' all smart and awesome," Jack mumbled, smiling when Mac huffed. "When do you think they're gonna realize you're not actually working in a medicine related field?"

"Hopefully never," Mac muttered. "I still don't know what my dad said I do, I'll have to get it out of him before I face the board." He paused. "Will you go with me to the hospital tomorrow?"

"Of course," Jack replied, because that wasn't even something he had to think about. "If you want me there, I'll be there. Whole team will probably show up if you tell them about it."

"They've already done a lot," Mac said, a note of wonder in his voice. "Russ has paid for all kinds of shit, Matty got us time off, the others agreed to stay down here... I mean I knew they cared, but..."

"That's what family does, baby," Jack told him, stroking a hand up and down his back. "We're a family, and I ain't never leaving this family again."

"Good," Mac murmured. "But if you ever have to leave again- no, let me finish," he said softly when Jack opened his mouth to protest. "You can't rule out a possibility that you'd have to leave for another mission again... you said so yourself, Kovacs is still out there and we don't know if your team got him. But if you ever do have to leave... take me with you this time?"

Jack looked at him for a moment before he nodded, bringing a hand up to comb through Mac's hair. "Okay," he whispered, his other hand squeezing at his waist. "I can't say that I'm gonna like it, but... I get where you're coming from, and... yeah, you should come with me."

"I'm glad you think so," Mac said, smiling widely as he leaned in to kiss him. "That way I won't have to hide in your suitcase."

Jack chuckled against his mouth. "I don't think you'd fit in there."

"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure," Mac said, raising his eyebrow. "I'm dead serious. I'm pretty flexible, I think I'd figure it out."

Jack stared at him for a moment. "Damn, you're not kiddin', you'd actually do it," he breathed out. "Although now I'm more interested in how flexible you are."

Mac rolled his eyes fondly and kissed Jack's jaw, nuzzling at his stubble. "Maybe we can explore that tomorrow... right now I'm exhausted."

"Me too," Jack admitted, sighing under Mac's touch as he tightened his grip on him. "Hopefully tomorrow - and every day after that - is full of good news."

"I hope so," Mac whispered, his voice gone low and slow with sleep. "Goodnight, Jack."

"Goodnight, baby," Jack murmured, holding Mac close and listening to his breathing evening out.

Once he was sure Mac was asleep, he kissed the top of his head and closed his eyes, drifting away toward sleep almost instantly. Absently he wondered if anyone had heard them earlier, but he decided that even if they had... they were going to deal with that tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment if you enjoyed it! ♥


	7. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!
> 
> As promised, here's the short epilogue to wrap up this fic. Again, sorry for the delay in posting the last chapter and this one, but I hope you still enjoyed the fic!
> 
> As always, there's much more to come, so stay tuned!

Six months later, Mac found himself behind the blender this time, dumping ice, tequila and agave syrup into it before turning it on. "Hey, Jack?" he called over the rumble and grind of the blades. He ran a hand through his hair to get it out of his eyes - it had grown out and he should probably cut it, but he hadn't gotten around to it. "How are those steaks coming? Will they be ready by the time everybody gets here?"

"You bet your pretty ass they will!" Jack called out from the deck, and Mac couldn't help but roll his eyes fondly. A moment later Jack came inside the house, wearing a huge grin on his face... and an apron with a picture of a steak shaped like Texas.

"You know," Mac started, looking Jack up and down. "When you Riley got you this apron you promised me you'd cook for me wearing _only_ the apron, and you still haven't delivered."

"I'm all for being risqué, but I'm pretty sure your dad's cancer-free party isn't the place _or_ the time for that," Jack said, but he wrapped his arms around Mac and pulled him in for a kiss anyway. "By the way, _is_ this your dad's cancer-free party, or is the 'we defeated your evil aunt and her crazy scheme' party?" He pulled a face. "That one's a little clunky, I'll work on it."

"I guess it could be both," Mac said, pecking Jack's lips again. "And I'm not saying you should wear just the apron _now_ , the last thing I want is Russ drooling over your ass." He smiled when Jack snorted and he kissed him again. "But I'm expecting you cooking breakfast for me in it tomorrow."

Jack grinned at him. "Deal."

At that moment the door opened and the entire gang walked in, chatting about something and laughing. Riley and Desi were holding hands and looking every inch the adorable couple who had just moved in together, and the first thing Mac did was hug them both. "Hey! How's everything at Desi's place?"

"Crowded with all my stuff there," Riley replied, trading Mac in for Jack as soon as she got close enough. "But it's really cool that I don't have to listen to you guys have sex through the wall anymore."

Mac felt his cheeks burn, but Jack just laughed, kissing her temple. "Oh come on, it wasn't so bad," he said with a huge grin. "We were keeping it down."

"Right, you maybe," Riley scoffed before she smirked at Mac. "Unfortunately your boyfriend is quite a screamer."

"Right? It's something else," Desi said, grinning conspiratorially with Jack.

Thankfully the girls moved aside and Mac was able to greet his dad, hugging him tightly. Now that his cancer was gone and his burns were healed he had some scars, but he had gained some weight and looked much better overall. "Hey, Angus," James said near his ear, hugging him back. "Dalton's making the steaks, right? We're not gonna be eating charcoal?"

"Hey now," Mac protested as they broke apart. "I can make a steak!"

"No, you can't," Matty commented, patting his hip and moving to the kitchen. "You're a man of many talents, Blondie, but cooking is _not_ one of them."

"Sorry, baby, the lady is right!" Jack called out before heading outside. "And speaking of steaks, I better check on them."

"Angus," Russ greeted, making a sound of surprise when Mac hugged him too. He returned the embrace nonetheless, not nearly as stiffly as he would have a while ago. "What's all this, then?"

"I'm just happy," Mac said, smiling when he grabbed Bozer next. "We beat Codex, my dad's better... life's pretty good for once."

"And we deserve it!" Bozer exclaimed, shaking him around a little. "Now come on, those steaks aren't gonna eat themselves!"

Mac laughed and watched as Bozer headed in the direction of the deck... and the moment he was right next to the doorway, Mac tugged on a string he had prepared earlier. "OH MY FUCKING GOD!" Bozer yelled when a big doll with the George Washington mask on dropped down right in front of his face, and he stumbled back, tripping and falling down on his ass. "What the _fuck,_ Mac?!"

"That's for the Speedo!" Mac exclaimed, laughing along with everyone else... except for Desi and Russ who were staring at the doll in confusion.

"What on _earth_ is that thing?" Russ asks incredulously, eyeing George Washington suspiciously.

"It's a long story, you don't wanna know," Matty said, waving off the question. "Nice going, Mac."

"Thank you," Mac replied, very proud of himself. He put his hands on his hips and raised an eyebrow. "Now, on another note, there's something that's different about me that none of you guys noticed."

"Is it your hair?" Riley asked, reaching out to muss it. "Because you're starting to look like a sheepdog." She glanced down at his left hand and paused. "Is that... a ring?"

Mac grinned so widely his face hurt and he lifted his left hand. "It sure is."

"Oh my god," Riley squealed, and threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Congratulations!"

Bozer was next, apparently already forgiving Mac for scaring the shit out of him. "That's awesome, dude! When did that happen?"

"Last night," Jack replied, back from the deck and leaning against the doorway, watching the scene with a fond smile on his face.

That fond look turned shocked when James pulled him into a bear hug, clapping Jack on the back. "Congratulations, both of you."

"You two deserve each other," Desi said wryly, but she hugged Mac when she got the opportunity. "I'm happy for you."

"Thanks, Dez," Mac whispered, something warm unfurling in his chest. He raised an eyebrow when Russ didn't move. "You okay, Taylor?"

"Huh?" Russ blinked at him before shaking his head. "Yeah, yeah, I'm good. Congratulations, I'm... very happy for you." He smiled and while it seemed genuine, there was some... longing in his eyes, and that was when Mac remembered what had happened when Russ had proposed to the love of his life.

He didn't call him out on it and accepted the hug from him before hugging his dad again and then Matty. "Come on, people, let's eat!" Jack called out once everybody was done hugging, and they all headed out outside.

They settled in around the fire pit with margaritas and steaks, and Mac found himself seated between Jack and Desi. This was a position he had never thought he would be in and he was thrilled about it, because it seemed like for once in their lives everything worked out for the best.

Desi nudged him. "Hey, you good?"

"Yeah," Mac replied, nudging her back before he leaned into Jack's side. "I'm amazing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment if you enjoyed it! ♥


End file.
